HUH?!?

Recently my logic professor gave me this riddle to help me understand what's really behind my LOGIC 200 class. It is called: "Egocentric Categorical Syllogism"

I am a nobody,

nobody is perfect,

therefore I am perfect.

Damn! I still don't get it!

Again, I've Been Left Speechless!

Cyndi again has awarded me another award. I was totally left speechless when I saw that she gave me not one but two awards.

So through my cloudy mind (and blurry tears), I left a comment on her page. I don’t even remember what I wrote. I just wrote down what came to me and sent it.

Cyndi honey, if you are reading this, please forgive me if my comment made no sense at all. I had the best intentions.

Now I know how the stars feel at the Oscar’s. Yeah, I feel THAT good!

“These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award.”

This 'Love Ya' award is sweet as I am always attempting to find new friends.

The people I give this amazing award to are:

Akilah, Chris, Carma, Sheri, Lucy, Mom, Tina, and Christine. Of course I have to add four more just because I love them so: Clarity, Ashley, Leon Basin, and Brenda Susan.

Thank you all again for being such good friends to me. I feel like I am the luckiest woman alive right now!

Okay, not the luckiest, but definitely the most loved. : )

A Mother's Pride and Joy

My daughter and son. He of course does not want to take the picture.


I have a fifteen yer old son. Actually I have three teenagers. But that is for another post. Like I said before there is never a dull moment in the BIBI household.


Especially with my oldest son. Two years ago he began to experience the "puberty" thing at thirteen. Last summer he began to "smell" himself and began to be get very cocky. It's all good. I got him straight, and brought him back to earth with one of my 'if the momma ain't happy, nobody is' discussions. He got the message.


Or so I thought he did.


My talk was essentially about taking care not to smell when you become of a certain age. and as you become older you have to take essential care not to offend anyone.


He wanted to argue. I told him that if he didn't clean his 'pits' that we were going to have a problem. He sulkily went to take a shower. I was happy that I won the battle with the 'child' until I went into his room and discovered a letter that he wrote to himself.


FYI: I snoop on my children in my house all the time. It's my full-time occupation. Antyway...


The letter read:

Reasons Not To Wash

1. I was forced to as a child.
2. People who make soap are only after your money.
3. I wash on special occasions like Christmas and Easter.
4. People who wash are hypocrites--they think they are cleaner than everyone else.
5. There are so many different kinds of soap, I can't decide which one is best.
6. I used to wash, but it got boring so I stopped.
7. None of my friends wash.
8. The bathroom is never warm enough in the winter or cool enough in the summer.
9. I'll start washing when I get older and dirtier.
10. I can't spare the time.

I don't know where he got his writing skills from, but I'm betting the comics that he reads has a lot to do with it.


I let that infraction go. He was soon not to disappoint me again.


Now don't get me wrong, my son is good in school and he loves his teachers. But someone said something to him (an adult of course) and asked him why was he passing notes in class?


It wasn't nothing that serious, just a harmless drawing, but the teacher felt the need to address my son, in front of the whole class!


He (the assistant teacher) then preceded to tell him "That if you do this again I will send you back where you came from, as you will be banished from my class."


My eloquent son told the assistant teacher:


"No you can't, my momma ain't here!"


Why oh why did I ever encourage him as baby to talk?!?

Choosing to Exhale

ME AND THE BUNNY IN BETTER TIMES.
SOON MY LOVE FOR STUFFED ANIMALS WOULD REFLECT IN MY PERSONALITY.

What attracts people to their mates? It’s a question that has been lingering in my head since the news of the Rhianna and Chris Brown fiasco. I feel compelled to respond now because I witnessed many abusive situations in my time.

At no time do I feel compelled to defend a man who hits on a woman, nor can I readily forgive them. I do realize that there are two sides to every story, so I try not to be so quick in my judgments. However, I feel compelled to answer the call to abused women everywhere.

As a little girl, I witnessed the most horrific abuse that a woman can endure. My father beat my mother. Since I was the oldest of eight I was a witness to a lot of physical abuse.

The man, who calls himself my father, beat on my mom while she was pregnant with child number five. It was not uncommon, and I grew up with this kind of abuse. However; this one sticks out in my memory so vividly. I remember getting ready because my mom was about to take us all out to Central Park for an outing. She told him that she was tired of him and his nonsense and would soon leave. He of course, threw a fit. That’s when I seen him punch my mom in the face.

She went down like a boxer being KO’d in the ring. With her dress ballooning around her as she fell in front of her dresser, I soon knew what I had to do. Grabbing my two little sisters and little brother I quickly took them by the hand and led them downstairs until the fighting died down.

I was eight at the time, and my reactions were quick. Grabbing sister A (age 7) and brother T (age 6) by one hand, and grabbing sister N (age 3) in the other hand I half dragged, half pulled them down the stairs until the beating subsided.

As I stood in the big picture window overlooking our front yard, I prayed that someone could hear my mother screaming, and would come and rescue us. I watched as one man walked by the window stopped in front of our house, turned and looked at the sobbing children in the window and shook his head.

My brother and sisters were crying, especially sister N who wanted my mom, but was too frightened to go upstairs. I was the only one who stood without tears, having seen and heard it all before. At eight I knew how to suppress my feelings and not let it be known that I was hurting for my mom and that I wanted my father dead. The guilt I felt at wanting someone I love dead, confused me to no end. I have a hard time looking him in the face to this day.

The sound of my own blood rushing in my ears grew louder as the screaming wouldn’t stop. The sound of dressers falling and tables being overturned echoed in my head as my father threw furniture around. I imagined my mother shielding her belly with one arm and trying to ward of her attacker with the other. I silently said to myself “stop, stop, stop”, but my whispers fell on deaf ears, as no one would listen.

I walked the siblings to the door as if to take them outside. By now they were shivering, and couldn’t control their chattering teeth. Soon as I made the decision to take them outside, the screaming stopped. My heart raced a little as I wanted to know if my mom was okay. I stood at the bottom of the staircase listening, waiting, and soon realized that I couldn’t breathe because I was holding my breath. Exhaling loudly, my head jerked up when I heard my father shout at me to come upstairs. Looking up at him standing at the top of the stairs my scowl spoke otherwise, and I stared him down as if to contest him. He walked away and went into the bathroom.

I wanted to go upstairs to see how my mom was doing, but looking back at my sibs who snuck up behind me, I thought it was best not to otherwise. I could hear her whimpering and crying, but was conflicted on what to do. I stayed downstairs with my little brother and sisters and we huddled on the window seat in the picture window until the “attacker” left.

He was mumbling how he would kill my mother, and she better listen to him next time or else. I still remember looking at him with such disgust, and how he stared me down as if to say ‘go ahead try it.’ He won, and I knew when to back off when the odds were not in my favor.

In reflection, I look back at those times and wonder what would I have done if my parents owned a gun and I found it? Would I have been one of those children that you see on the news who tell their story over and over again to the media who wants to know what happened? Only to be lost in the system years later and on one of those “Where Are They Now” shows?

Now that the hubby and I are faced with our own crisis but working on it, I now empathize with the women who have to wake up everyday and move on with life after being assaulted in such a fashion. I constantly ask my mom why she endured such abuse for 21 years. To that she has no answer.

I’m not holding my breath for an answer either, because she is trying to move on with her life after being divorced from my father for 15 years now. This is the moment when I exhale, and I then realize that I have been holding my breath in anticipation that I am missing something in life. Something like moving on from the pain and realizing that no one will make my life better, only me.

In retrospect, with all that has happened to me in my childhood, I have decided to try to be very careful in my selection of mates. I’ve failed in some aspects, but in others I have dutifully have tried to correct my mistakes and have no regrets in my decision making. Only vow to learn from them.

To err is human, to forgive is divine. I’m still working on the forgiving part.

Till Death Do Us Apart

Scenario: It is 4:34 PM in the afternoon and 75 degrees in the middle of February. A husband and wife are enjoying the balmy weather and the fact that the children are outside. Hubby is reading the Richmond Times Dispatch and the wife is reading the latest gossip magazine grabbed off of the shelf in the local super center. The children are enjoying the weather, screaming, laughing, and playing; unaware that there is a tornado watch warning in effect and that their parents are trying to tune them out.

Wife: “You know that octuplet mom does look like Angelina Jolie.”

Hubby: “You don’t say.”

Wife: “Michele Obama is one classy lady. I hope to one day inherit her sense of style.”

Hubby: “Nice, very nice.”

Wife putting down magazine and looking out of the window: “Why is Tamara screaming like that? Gosh she can be so melodramatic!”

Hubby: “Hmmm…”

Wife turning to hubby: “What would you do if I pierced my tongue?”

Hubby: “Nothin’. “

Wife: “How about my nipple?”

Hubby: “Don’t care.”

Wife: “Want to adopt a baby?”

Hubby: “Something to consider.”

Wife: “Are you listening to me?”

Hubby looking up finally from newspaper: “Yeah, yeah, I heard you.” Turns back to newspaper.

Wife: “The therapist said today that we should be more open to talk more with each other. Come on answer me, talk to me, look at me!”

Hubby sighing and putting down darn newspaper: “Alright, what do you want to talk about?”

Wife: SILENCE

Hubby: SILENCE

*One full minute later*

Wife: SILENCE

Hubby: SILENCE

Wife picking up magazine and grumbling to self: “You never listen to me.”

Hubby: SILENCE

This ladies and gentlemen is what marriage counseling does to a couple after only three sessions. We’re still a work in progress.

Why People LOVE Kids!

I laughed my head off when my sister-in-law sent it to me. Children are so unpredictable and are such a joy. They really take the dullness out of life one innocent act at a time! Enjoy everyone! I thoroughly did! :D

Challenges Lie Ahead, Just Waiting To Be Fixed.

I consider myself a very headstrong person, who will try her utmost best to get what she wants. I just never thought that my marriage would be on such shaky ground with my new quest to be thinner and healthier.

I doubt that the hubby is aware of how serious I am about losing weight. We've both tried losing weight together a year ago and the momentum fizzled after about two months.

We just got our taxes back and bought a new treadmill. We started out slow like 15 minutes a day then gradually increased everyday until we were on the treadmill for 45 minutes everyday.

Hubby then graduated to burning 700 calories a day at 7 MPH, while I began decreasing to walking for only 30 minutes at 3.5 MPH. I never really considered that I could burn more if I increased my speed, but I was new and wasn't trying to be on America's Funniest Home Videos with the fat momma being thrown off of the treadmill. Hubby loves the video camera, by the way.

So, after two weeks of trying to win smoother abs, tight ass, and muscular biceps we were sorely disappointed that our physique didn't match with the models in our Fitness magazines that came faithfully every month. Disillusioned? YES, ready to admit it? NO!

Now that I am back on the fitness kick, I've picked up some habits that the hubby is not too crazy about.

SCENARIO: Saturday night and the hubby is off. Goes to the store and brings home vanilla-filled cookies, cream cheese and ice cream.

"Look what I got. Want some?" He proceeded to place them all on the kitchen table that I am sitting comfortably at cutting coupons.

Looking at him as if he grown another head; "No, I'm on a diet remember?"

"Oh yeah, forgot. Sorry."

Continues to open the packages and throw together in a bowl the cookies, smear cream cheese on them, and slap some vanilla ice-cream on top.

Saliva pools at the corner of my mouth as I watch him chop down on one of our favorite pastimes on our quest to appease our cravings for junk food.

"You're not going to seriously sit there and eat that all in front of me, are you?"

"Yomhu domhn wanamh nonmhn, sohn behnm itmn."

"Your not serious are you? I mean, you know I am struggling with this whole dieting thing. I have to face my demons and not be tempted by such lack of pure unadulterated control over junk food, yet here you come in here with this crap. And I'm supposed to just accept that?"

Hubby looks at me now as if I grew a new head. I could have got up very graciously and just went into my room and closed the door, but I didn't.

Instead I decided to fight fire with fire. I went to the refrigerator, and pulled out my lettuce, tomatoes, carrots, two boiled eggs, mushrooms, red onions, and my French honey salad dressing. Preparing a big bowl of delicious salad would be my way of showing him that he will not sabotage my progress so far and I will win this battle of the bulge.

Instead of fixing the salad, I busted into tears. It was then I realized how much trouble the hubby and I really are in.

This was the defining moment when I realized that we needed help and that our problems were bigger than we can handle. It has to be done.

Marriage counseling is a big thing for me to handle, but the hubby and I got through our first two sessions together. I believe that we are on the right road to recovery now. And I don't need ice cream to celebrate the moment.

30-Something Momma With Still a Lot to Learn.

I've learned lots but I still need to learn and understand more. I am always on a quest to learn from my fellow man. The theme for NaBloPoMo this month is WANT. And I want to change. A change for the better person that I can be and will be. It's a ever daunting task but I have to start somewhere. I will start today. Anyone up for the challenge? Tell me what have you learned.

I've learned.... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
I've learned.... That when you're in love, it shows.
I've learned.... That just one person saying to me, "You've made my day!" makes my day.
I've learned.... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
I've learned.... That being kind is more important than being right.
I've learned.... That you should never say no to a gift from a child.
I've learned.... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.
I've learned.... That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
I've learned.... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
I've learned.... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
I've learned.... That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
I've learned.... That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.
I've learned.... That money doesn't buy class.
I've learned.... That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
I've learned... That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
I've learned.... That the Lord didn't do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?
I've learned.... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
I've learned.... That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.
I've learned.... That love, not time, heals all wounds.

I've learned.... That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
I've learned.... That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
I've learned.... That there's nothing sweeter than sleeping with your babies and feeling their breath on your cheeks.
I've learned.... That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
I've learned.... That life is tough, but I'm tougher.
I've learned.... That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.
I've learned.... That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
I've learned.... That I wish I could have told my Dad that I love him one more time before he passed away.
I've learned.... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
I've learned.... That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
I've learned.... That I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.
I've learned.... That when your newly born child holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.
I've learned.... That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.
I've learned ... That it is best to give advice in only two circumstances; when it is requested and when it is a life threatening situation.
I've learned.... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
To all of you.... Make sure you read all the way down to the last sentence.

So fellow bloggers, what about you? What have you learned in life so far?

These words were written by Andy Rooney, a man who has the gift of saying so much with so few words.