Things That Make Me Smile

In this ever bustling, busy, always in a rush world, I sometimes find a quite moment to reflect on my good fortune and how wonderful life can be. It is then that I find the little, simple things that make me smile.

My children. All seven of them.

Next Wednesday is their first day back to school. It will be wonderful that they will finally end their summer vacation lounging in my house all day, and I can now sit for a quite moment to read, scratch, burp, blog, doodle, and watch TV without being disturbed. By day two I’ll be so bored and hoping upon hope that the bus driver will make a u-turn and bring my children back.

Its when they are at home and fighting, and picking with each other, or just being their own usual rambunctious selves I then grit my teeth and say:

“ONE DAY LORD, JUST ONE DAY TO MYSELF!”

Then again, I haven’t been talking to the lord lately, so when HE sees me on the caller ID, I think he hangs up.

Either that or he just smiles as if to say, ‘You can handle it.’

I’ll go for the latter.

My eldest son, as stated in earlier posts can tickle my funny bone and make me laugh.

The diva shines in her own special way.

Then there is diva #2 who has now come into her own and has surprised me with holding down a job this summer, and she has really blossomed into a beautiful young lady.

Then that leaves Tisha who is twelve, Taj who is nine, Tamara who will be seven soon, and baby Trinity who is three.

Out of those four, it is Tamara who gives me the most reflection on my days when I need a smile.

LAST SUMMER

TAMARA falling off of the steps in her haste to help with the final touches in the flower garden in the front yard: “OWWW! Waaaaah, I cut my knee!!”

ME running to aid my poor clumsy child: “What happened? How’d you fall? Are you okay?”

TAMARA clearly the drama queen as her little ‘scrape’ has now become a very big deal: “Aaaaaaaah! I’m gonna die!”

ME clearly used to the dramatics: “Shhh now. You’ll be okay. Look it’s just a scratch, not even a cut. Why don’t you go inside and get a band-aid? There’s a good girl. You can stand. I’ll help you up the stairs. I got the door. Okay. Now go in your bathroom and look under the sink cabinet

and there is a green and white box full of band-aids. Find one or two and put them on your cut.”

TAMARA pouting: “I want a big band-aid.”

ME clearly tired of the dramatics by now but trying not to sound too impatient: “You can have a big band-aid. Just pick whichever one you want.”

TAMARA clearly all better now that the words ‘band-aid’ and ‘whichever one you want’ was mentioned: “Aren’t you coming in with me? Can you wipe it for me?”

ME: “You’ll be okay girl. Just go in there and find a band-aid. You can use a piece of tissue to wipe off the little bit of blood. Go ahead now. You’ll be okay.”

TAMARA walking away without a limp.

***** FIVE FULL MINUTES LATER *****

ME happily engaged in planting some lavender bushes in my psychedelic array of flowers, shrubs, and herbs. I turn around to the sound of “I FOUND IT.”

TAMARA standing on the bottom step of the front staircase proudly showing off her big band-aid.

A band-aid the same size and shape of a Kotex maxi pad without wings.

EARLY SPRING THIS YEAR:

TAMARA engaged in a conversation with her older brother at the kitchen table one morning: “You know what Taj, one day you and I will be married and have houses of our own.”

TAJ clearly not in the mood to talk about the long off future with his little sister: “I’m not marrying anyone.”

TAMARA: “Well some woman will catch your fancy and make your heart tingle. She’s the one that you’ll marry. And then soon you’ll be engaged in talks about how many children you want, and what college they’ll go to.”

ME clearly intrigued at this little six year old munchkin and her tendency to sound just like her momma.

TAJ clearly annoyed now because he wants to be done with this talk so that he can play the Wii: “Yeah, yeah. Look I’ll have kids. Lots of kids and I’ll bring them all to your house when I’m tired of them.”

TAMARA intrigued as well: “Oh yeah, how many?

TAJ: “Uh, about 10 or twelve.

TAMARA sucks in her breath sharply, eyes nearing bulging out of her head as she stares at her brother while holding her spoonful of cheerios precariously over the edge of her bowl. “Huh?!?”

ME nearly choking on the piece of toast that I almost sucked down my throat at Tajs’ response.

TAJ happy that he finally got Tamara to shut up for once since they began eating: “Yup about ten or twelve will do. I gotta get a big house though.”

TAMARA: Silence

ME: Stunned silence

TAJ drinking the last of his milk and burping in response to our stares. “What about you, how many children are you gonna have?”

TAMARA recovering from the shock of being told that she will one day be the aunt to ten or twelve nieces or nephews from one brother: “I don’t know Taj. I guess I’ll just borrow some of yours.”

LAST WEEK

TIA searching for some tool to finish a necklace that she was repairing: “Help me find it Tamara. I seen you with it last. I told you again and again not to touch my things.”

TAMARA sitting on the couch engrossed in another mindless episode of Spongebob Square Pants: “I didn’t have it I told you! Why you always blame me for things?!?”

TIA clearly losing patience: “Cause you always LOSE MY STUFF!”

ME trying to diffuse the situation: “Alright, calm down Tia. It has to be somewhere. Did you check the garbage? You know that is a favorite hiding place of Trinitys’.”

TIANA coming into the kitchen; our family meeting place, clearly looking for something as well: “Anyone see the tweezers? I think I got a splinter in my hand.”

TAMARA not looking from the TV screen to address Tiana: “I think I saw those in the room somewhere.”

TIANA: “Where?”

TAMARA shrugging her shoulders: “I don’t know.”

TIANA: “Well could you go get ‘em?”

TIA: “First she has to help me find my wire cutters so that I can finish this necklace. I have to have this done by tonight.”

ME sensing that things are going to heat up real soon: Okay, okay girls. Take a breather and calm down. Tamara turn off the TV and find the wire cutters. Tiana come with me. I think I know where some tweezers are.”

***** SOME TWENTY-SOMETHING MINUTES LATER *****

ME: “Tia did you find the wire cutters?”

TIA sounding like she is ready to explode: “NO!”

ME: “Well, join the club. I haven’t found any tweezers either. Tiana you alright?”

TIANA: “Yeah. It’s no biggie. It’ll eventually come out if I can’t find the tweezers.”

ME: “Don’t be silly. It can get infected!”

TIANA shrugging in response.

***** MINUTES LATER *****

TAMARA: “I found it.”

ME: “Found what?”

TAMARA: “The tweezers.”

ME: “I thought you were looking for the wire cutters?”

TAMARA: “Can’t find ‘em.”

ME: “Alright, bring what you got. I’m in the kitchen.”

ME turning to reach for the tweezers that Tamara has found as she walks in the kitchen, only to discover that she has found these gigantic pair of pliers with yellow handles and a scary doodad on the side.

ME, TIANA, and TIA can’t stop laughing at Tamara’s frown as she doesn’t understand what did she do that was so darn funny.

It’s these little moments that makes me smile. And grateful that I have a tribe of seven kids to keep me entertained.

Mom, The Wolfman and Me

I am going to tell you all a secret. Something my mom doesn't even know about.


I used to have the biggest crush on Joaquin Phoenix. Notice the emphasis on the words 'used to'.


Just to give you a little history lesson on my crazy and innocent crush.


As a little teen bopper in the late 80's, I used to LOVE his brother River Phoenix. I thought he was the cat's meow. Saw all his movies, read every article about him. Watched him live at the Oscar's and prayed hard that he would win. I even considered stalking him in L.A. when we lived in Cali. It was closed to being obsessed that I could come.


Then he overdosed in front of the Viper Room in Hollywood, and that was all she wrote.



Years later I saw Gladiator and fell head over heels for the tyrannical Commodus. The acting was chilling and I was all about bad boys then. (That would explain the EX husband).





Antyways.


I watched and bought all of his movies, joined his fan club, read every coverage on him from People magazine to GQ, and I even went so far as to attempt to write him a fan letter. I never mailed it.


I even considered putting his name on my license plates. They would have looked like this:

JOAQNPX

The hubby wasn't going for it. I don't blame him. Now.


It was this photo that did it for me last January.

Joaquin + Mountain Beard = SAY WHAT?!?

Okay what is it with actors who have such a brilliant career, and they want to throw it all away to pursue a music career. Yeah I know we've heard it all before, and my crush (even though innocent) died the moment I saw that picture.


Call me shallow, but I can't comprehend the former actor who almost won two Oscars and won one Golden Globe as a rapper. Can you?


He won a Grammy for the soundtrack 'Walk The Line', and now he wants to be a rapper. And guess who is rumored to produce his record? P. Diddy.


Yes people I know, the news is old about Joaquin Phoenix wanting to be a rapper. To prove that he is serious, BIL Casey Affleck is recording a documentary about the whole transition. A rapper who started his career rapping to such titles such as 'I Want A Refund', and droning on and on and trying to rhyme 'boom' and 'room' over and over again. Yes, rapping world beware, there is a new kid in town!


It's not even good rapping like Eminem, but it sounds like something put together on a paper napkin at the bar, two minutes before going on stage.


Yes, this twice nominated Oscar boy of Hollywood used to make my heart go all a flutter, but not anymore.


It's just scary.


And my mom still doesn't know.

Home Is Where the Heart Is!

Hello bloggers! Long time no see. I 've been a busy bee of sorts, so I will intend to update you.


The DIVA and her little bro are home. Back from their long extended stay up in New York. They really enjoyed themselves and couldn't wait to go out and visit with their friends instead of update their momma on what they did in the 'Big Apple'.


I started classes again this summer on July 6. (gulp) I am taking a Political Science class (the teacher already hates me), and a beginner Spanish class (the teacher is lovely). It is going on week 3 and I already have one quiz due this week for my Political Science class.


The political arena is touchy. I am not a very political person, but I am strong in my convictions and my principles, and do not waver from my views unless human life is at stake. That's when I shut my mouth, and let the big dogs scrap it out!


Antyways


The hubby and I are on a little break from the therapy sessions, and will resume by the end of the month. (snort) Who ever said married life was easy should be strapped to a hard back chair in a room alone, and made to listen to Vanilla Ice with the volume at full blast.


The other children on the BIBI home front are doing okay. Some can't wait until school starts, others want to bum around all day in front of the stupid box and burn their brain cells with as much useless info that they can fill their brain cavity up with.


I on the other hand watch the most educational things that we mommy's find so amusing.


Monday thru Friday 10 AM - Live with Regis and Kelly. My grandmother calls them the Gracie and George of our time. Except they are not married. I just watch to see if they will ever get my email and call me to talk live, on the phone with them so that I can win a prize. Shameless right?

Monday thru Friday 11 AM - The View. Barbara Walters and her posse always make me laugh. I hope Elizabeth drops that bundle soon so that we can see the little bundle of joy!


Tuesday and Wednesday 9 PM - America's Got Talent. Who does not watch that show for all the bad auditions?!?

Tuesday 10 PM - Tori and Dean. Love Tori. Love Dean. Ahhh... What the rich do when they have time on their hands.




Thursday 9 PM - She's Got The Look. Women over 35 looking sexy and doing their thing. There is hope for me yet!





Friday, Saturday, and Sunday - If I am not carpooling to a friends house, sewing, doing homework, studying, cooking, washing clothes, or fixing a crumpled kids spirit 'cause they did not get what they wanted that week, then I tune to TCM for some old b&w movies.


Don't you just love the weekends?!?

The Sweetest Thing

Awarded again. You guys are to much and are too sweet! I truly feel blessed to have such great friends. The first award comes from Akilah, Gemmerzz, Sheri, and Lucy. It is called the Awe-summ award. With this award you:

List 7 things that make you Awe-Summ and then pass the award on to 7 bloggers you love. Make sure to tag your recipients and let them know they have won! Also link back to the Queen that tagged you.

Hmmm... seven things that make me Awe-summ are:
1. I love charities
2. I love and respect my family
3. I trust far too much but can be trusted.
4. I love the finer things in life like sunsets, relaxing moments, and laughing with friends.
5. I love to stand up for those who can't speak for them selves like; children and animals.
6. I love to make blogging friends and to make them smile.
7. I love to be part of the solution and not the problem.

The seven people that I will send this award to are:
Akilah
Sheri
Ashley
Mom
Gemmerzz
Lucy
Christine

Mommy award

This award was given to me by Lucy. She is undoubtedly a great blogger and always on her game. I can never surpass her talent and she has just the words to comfort you or make you laugh. You go girl! Check her out today!

Rules of the Award:

•Admit one thing you feel awful about involving being a mom. Get it off your shoulders. Once you've written it down, you are No Longer allowed to feel bad. It's over with, it's in the past. Remember, you're a good mom!

I feel awful when I feel bored being with my children. I love interaction with my children but sometimes it can be a bit overwhelming when you are with them 24/7.

•Remind yourself you are a good mom, list seven things you love about your kids, you love doing with your kids, or that your kids love about you. These are the things to remind yourself everyday that you Rock!

I rock because:

1. My kids do have fun whenever we are together. Whether we are making playful videos, or playing a card game, we have fun.

2. My kids make me laugh. Especially when they argue with each other. It's like watching a hilarious sitcom.

3. My kids love when I make a 5 course meal with plenty of dessert for after wards.

4. I love playing Wii fit with kids. They love showing me up but I can always beat them in the walking aerobics game. Nobody has matched my stride yet!

5. My teenage girls love when I do their hair. They won't really go out of their way to say 'Thank You', but I can see their hidden joy.

6. I will go into my girls room and organize it just to spend some quality time with them. About nine hours of laughing, talking, and throwing things away that we found hilarious to even consider holding onto.

7. I love snuggling up with my kids and watching movies with them on an impulse. We don't have a scheduled family night, just spontaneity that we feel when we all need some quality time together.

Send this to five other Mom's Of The Year that deserve credit for being great moms and remind them that they are the best moms they can be!! Remember to send them a note to let them know you've selected them, and add a link to the person who nominated you.

Here are my five nominees:

1. Akilah (my sexy mama)

2. Mom ( my Canadian mom)

3. Christine (my other Canadian mom)

4. Lilly (my Australian mom)

5. Lucy ( My suburbia mom)

This award was given to me by Sheri. No rules or strings attached. Anyone who wants it can take it because every blog that I came across is truly enchanting to me. Plus, Tinkerbell is truly a cutie!

So take it and have fun. I love you all!

Schools Out and I Don't Intend to Stand Around and Twittle My Thumbs Either!

I apologize for being such a bad blogger of late. I promise, now that my semester of school was officially over this past Friday I can now pay attention to more important things! =^)

First things first, I have to post a BIG thank you to some of you for giving me awards. You are the best!

Second I have to write SOMETHING that has been plaguing the news of late. I don't like to talk about death, but my conscience won't let this one go away. (You are too bossy dude, go away!)

Third, I have two new followers. Thank you guys for being my friend. I totally enjoy the extra company.

Fourth, everything on the BIBI home front is doing okay!

The Diva and her little bro (my very articulate son) are in N.Y with my little bro. Rock on kids, school is not for another 7 weeks!

My kids go back to school in August. Something to do with making sure we get in early before the snow falls and we miss weeks and weeks of school. (Hey! I say the earlier the better! Like August 19th early )

Anytways, the hubby and I are doing okay. He has sleep apnea and sounds like Darth Vader when we go to bed now that he has to sleep with the CPAP mask on every night. But hey! it's a great idea for some role playing before I put my nightcap on. ; )

The baby, my little Trinity, turned 3 on the 24th of this month and I am exhilarated. This is the first time in a LONG time that one of my babies turned three and there is not another bun in the oven. Thank you Doc B for making sure that my momma factory stays closed. (no chastity belt required, besides its too late to observe some chastity now.)

I have only 5 children at home right now and I have no idea what to do. Why do I feel like a part of me is missing since my two oldest kiddies have been gone for two weeks now? Little bro will probably let them loose in about a week or so.

Until then, I'll take Tiana (14), Tisha (12), Taj (9), Tamara(6), and Trinity(now 3), to the community kiddie park for some quality time. Ohh! my creative mind is in overlaod.

Love, Growth, and Maturity

I was looking through some old cards of the hubby and mine. We will be married for 10 years in August. Looking back on when we first married I have to say that we did have a whirlwind romance.


I was working at a giant retailer at the time, and he happened to see me working in the electronics department. He eventually started a conversation and we went from there.


I was getting over a BAD relationship with the first husband, trying to raise my three girls and one boy, and working on earning my first degree in college. (Going back to school after a eight year hiatus bites, but I got through it!)


He comforted me, consoled me, and reassured me that I was a strong women who was doing the right thing. I fell head over heels. We were married after two months courting.


The children were in the wedding and really loved having a 'dad' around again. I enjoyed having someone around to talk to and help me with the kids. Some would say I was on the rebound but I never felt as if I was going to give up on the relationship until we were married for about five years.


We never reached the seven-year itch before the real fights began. But we survived it and we are now smiling at each other, making goggling eyes at each other and talking 'dirty' when the kids aren't around. I think the therapist has done her job, but we will still continue to see her until we feel certain that we are absolutely on the right track.


While looking through some of the cards, our wedding cards, anniversary, new additions to the family, millions of birthday cards, and dozens of father and mother day cards, I found some with letters in them.


Have you ever wrote letters to your loved ones trying to explain the content of the card as well as the meaning behind the card?!? Well, if you are the BIBI that is a lot to write down. Being that I AM the talkative kind, I once wrote a letter with a beautiful card that was EIGHT pages long!!


Whew! Was I that into myself then?!?


Endlessly trying to explain why I snapped at him and why he needs to be patient with me and I've had such a shitty childhood that's why I am so messed up. Then spending a page or two apologizing for being me, and asking him to be patient with me because I was sooo screwed up and blah, blah, blah, blah, and blah.


I now realized that a marriage is about two people who share the same common interests and that one person cannot always see life as a victim. I was always making myself into the victim, one who could do no better because of my past. But my past does not define me anymore, because I am now the victor of my own destiny. I make my choices, good or bad, I decide to do better instead of waiting for someone to tell me that I have changed and that I am good now. I no longer acknowledge that little voice in my head that puts me down and tells me that I am no good.


I am good, not perfect, but good. I care, I love, I feel, I embrace my emotions,I laugh, I raise my beautiful children, I strive hard to make my loved ones comfortable, and I work hard at making sure that they are loved. I am me embracing life, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, whether I am sick or healthy. I am me and it is pretty absolutely gucking freat!

Come and Meet Mr. Whazitooya!

I digress.

The hubby is getting on my nerves. Again. Nothing new, he is always getting on my nerves. But this time it is more serious. In the last two weeks of thought of the 'D' word at least five times.

No not 'damn', 'dummy', or 'dead as a door nail when I get through with you', but divorce!

Here's why.

Anyone who has been reading this blog knows that the hubby and I do go to counseling/therapy. Ms. G has recently begun to see us every two weeks instead of every week because she thought we were making such good progress. She thought.

Now, this coming up session I am going to tell her that we need to come back every week so that the hubby can begin to learn to use his resources that God gave to him at birth.

It's called a piehole. It's the thing one inch right above your chin, and when you stand up straight it sits right under your nose.

He uses it to stuff it with food, talk/yell at the kids, talk to the boss, cuss at the TV, and to call loved ones when they are too far away to visit. He uses it for everyone except me. I get the silent treatment.

Me addressing the hubby when he comes in from a long day at work: "How was your day"?

Hubby with back turned: "Ok".

Me frowning: "What was that"?

Hubby talking in a higher octave than necessary: "It was okay".

Me silently fuming with arms crossed and everything.

Hubby using the bathroom and making it smell like something died in there.

Me with one can of air freshener sprayed directly at the bathroom door as the hubby comes out of the 'stink room': "Ummm... you don't smell that"?

Hubby ignoring me as he clears his throat and shrugs his shoulder.

Me: "Well"?

Hubby quietly: "Well what"?

Me: "Don't you want to talk about your day"?

Hubby: "It was okay".

Me: "And what else? And in case you have forgotten I've been holed up in the house with three teens who right now hate me because I made them go to bed after Jay Leno's' monologue and are probably plotting my demise right now as we speak, a 12 year old who picks on her little brother ALL DAY LONG, a six-year old who runs all day even to go so far as to kick in her sleep, and a two year old who loves to wear make-up to bed and screams when I try to remove it. So please, no wise cracks. Just some honest to goodness adult conversation".

Hubby blinking at me as I try to catch my breath.

Me staring back at him as I try to regain my composure.

Hubby makes a beeline for the bathroom to take a shower.

Me sighing as I now realize that it is going to be another non-talkative lonely night.

**************************************************************************************

I really don't want to make the TV my best companion at night as I turn to it to have some normalcy of conversation. Or spend another night fuming in my journal and pressing down so hard on the paper I can read what I wrote six pages ahead. But what else is there to do?

I think the hubby forgot that when we agreed to counseling for our marriage we were to get better at communicating, not shutting each other out of our lives.

I also realize that he does work two jobs and is under a lot of stress and maybe making conversation at 11:30 PM when everyone is just beginning to look at the back of their eyelids is probably not the best time to converse.

But then what is?!?

Friday Favorites #3

I have now officially joined the fan club of Janna Bee. She is a mom ( like me), sweet (more than me), is funny (I am trying), and loves her hubby (well three out of four is not too bad).

Just joking people! I love the hubby. As you can see, he is my favorite subject. LOL!

Antyways, I have the real deal here and what has made my week thus so far!

Monday

I fiercely felt like I was suffocating and then realized that I was having a good all panic attack. Yeah Monday!

Kids got on the bus okay, tried to get on the computer (failed 'cause of the lovely eyes), wanted to exercise but the treadmill yelled at me, so I did the next best thing. Slept until midday and then ordered in for pizza from Domino's for dinner. Kids are so grateful and sooo easy to please!

Tuesday

Cried with the hubby as we watched little girl who was killed in CA mother cry as she tried to talk to Matt Lauer on the Today show. We haven't shared an intimate moment like that in a long time. I then realized that you can be very intimate just sharing a tearful moment together. We prayed for all the little boys and girls who are missing their moms and dads, and for all the moms and dads whose little ones are still missing.

Got on the computer and learned that Mrs. GB gave me an awesome award. Thanks girlfriend!

Watched DWTS without any pain, then caught 'The Biggest Loser' and cried. I so felt so guilty that I didn't exercise with Jillian.

Kids went to bed with no complaints. Hubby stole into bed at exactly 11:30 PM and didn't snore until 2 AM.

Wednesday

Made an appointment with Dr. W for my eyes. Was very nervous but in too much pain to put up a fight. My insurance wouldn't cover the exam, but the receptionist assured me that I will be reimbursed by the insurance company since that insurance is not being covered for any vision eye care in the area. Love the country!

Watched the History channel and learned the real significance behind Passover. I love learning something new everyday!

Watched a new episode of 'LOST' and thoroughly enjoyed it. Minus the washcloth, just sat back and relaxed. Help was on the way!

Thursday

Got my meds and new glasses prescription filled. Applied the magic eyedrops and instantly felt better. Hubby was there supporting me every step of the way. He went into work late because of me, but he is such a dear.

Thanked Oprah as I caught the last half-hour of her show with Dr. Laura Bergman as she talked about explaining masturbation and pleasure to your daughters. Essentially, it was all about the "sex talk". I will be blushing for a whole month as I remember my Divas' face of horrorification as she listened to something that I have NEVER thought to discuss. Kudos to Oprah. You now have mothers everywhere like me wondering will they get 'those' questions.

Watched 'CSI' without any pain, and 'Harper's Island'. Felt grateful that my eyes were getting some relief and I was able to watch TV without any pain.

Slept well that night in more than a month.

Friday

Grateful to see that Virginia Tech is now ready to open Norris Hall after the deadly shooting that claimed the lives of sooo many innocent people. I am just glad that hubby decided to take a semester off when the shooting did occur. My condolences to those who lost loved ones in that unnecessary massacre.

Watched the news and was relieved to see that the economy or the stock market seems to be leveling off somewhat. Okay, but some kind of news is better than no news.

And how did your week go? Enjoy the Easter weekend everyone!

What I See and Have to Say About Blogging

Okay I have to confess what has happened to me for the last few weeks and why my blogs have been sparse and far from being constant.

As you all who read and do follow, you have seen that I have been very diligent in posting to my blog at least three times a week daily. I also would comment often and a lot! That excluding the month of February when I posted everyday for 28 days.

Not bad, but still I haven’t come close to the reason why.

I now have to wear glasses.

For the last 8 weeks I’ve had a hard time staying on the computer for more than two hours at a time. So I would be on the computer and would try to comment on as many blogs as possible, shut down the laptop, take some meds for my headache, get back on, eyes burn to the point where I feel as if someone has taken a candle to my eyes, shut down the computer/laptop, rest then do it all over again.

Tiresome right? Wait it gets better!

Two weeks ago, I couldn’t look at the computer before my eyes would tear and burn and I would have an incredible headache. This led to my seeing an ophthalmologist yesterday since I last seen an eye doc in 1993.

So I officially have a very lazy left eye that is causing my right eye to work harder because it is not pulling its weight around here. So watching TV was a chore where I had to always have a hot washcloth handy to put over my eyes during the commercials.

I didn’t dare drive at night for fear I’d go over a ditch and land in a pasture decorated with cow poo-poo.

And I so badly wanted to read a book besides ‘New Moon’ but the large print selection at the library did not look too tempting.

So there you have it, the excuse of the week (or the last two weeks). Now I can type in bed, in the kitchen, in the commode if I want to thanks in all to these wonderful eye drops courtesy of Dr. W and some wonderful painkillers that make me feel as limp as a noodle. I’ll get my wonderful glasses next week soon as they fill in the prescription. Oh YAY me!!

Sorry if the sarcasm is extra heavy today. I don’t like celebrating the fact that my age has caught up with my eyes.

Tuesday Smile: Then the Fight Started...

Then the fight started...



My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.

I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?" "No," she answered.

I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started....

*********************************************************************

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.

So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

And that's when the fight started....

**********************************************************************

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.

I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.

The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.

I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'

My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'

And then the fight started ...

*********************************************************************

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.

Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.

I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

And then the fight started....

*********************************************************************

A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, 'I feel

horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.

I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And then the fight started.....

*********************************************************************

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""

Nah, she can order for herself."

And then the fight started...

*********************************************************************

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept

staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' said my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...

*********************************************************************

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.

The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age.

I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.

I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt.' So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'

And then the fight started...

*********************************************************************

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace

expensive... so, I took her to a gas station.

And then the fight started...

**********************************************************************

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.

I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started...

*********************************************************************

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust.

And then the fight started...


Tehehehe... You all have a good one and enjoy!

So Real, I Must Be Dreaming!

My little "ladies"

Ever had one of those moments in life that felt so real, looked so real, that you just had to be dreaming?!? I did.

The hubby and I like to go for walks. And since we like to walk but not on the country roads, we usually take a ride into town, walk the track at the University and then perhaps do some shopping afterwards before going home.

Well we did that this particular day, and decided to leave Tia home with the children. No biggie right?!? She always does some baby-sitting on the side to earn a few bucks.

So, the hubby and I are walking and enjoying our little time together. Usually I have my cell phone on and with me as I walk, but this particular day I decide ‘nahhh, the kids never call me so I’ll leave it in the truck’.

An hour has passed and the hubs and I are still walking. Little did I know my cell phone is ringing off the hook with Tia trying to reach me.

The hubby and I decide that we don’t need to go to the store, and take the scenic route home. I never once looked at my phone to see if the children had called or anything, I am just enjoying life and just peachy.

I get home and my front door is wide open, and Tamara is in the doorway crying. My momma sense kicks in and I immediately begin to open my door as the car is still rolling up the driveway. I would have jumped out as well if the hubby hadn’t grabbed me.

I storm into the house, ready to take on the world when I notice that all of the kids are gathered in the living room and crying. I immediately see that Trinity is not there.

“Where’s my baby?” I ask, looking at all of them and they immediately begin sobbing like they feel guilty.

I panic and look at Tia, who is by the way crying silently and looks the guiltiest of all.

“Mom, Trinity is gone.”

My mind takes a moment to register as I try to process the word ‘gone’.

“Like gone to heaven gone or just decided to walk off into the forest as if trying to runaway. And remember answer correctly because she IS only two years old”.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t know who he was. He said that he came from the American Beauty contest and that he was to pick her up and take her to the station in Richmond and that …”

I put up my hand to silence her. Strangely quiet and calm I don’t realize that I am shaking. The hubby is still outside twinkling with his truck and has not come in yet. I know this because I hear this low rumble that reaches a pitch in tone, then levels out, then reaches a pitch, then levels out. Strange sound to take notice of when your child has been potentially kidnapped but hey that’s me, taking it all in.

By this time I am stuttering to make sense of my words; “Wwwhat, wwhen, and how did this happen?”

I look up and notice that my eldest son is gone and that Tamara is gone as well. I shrug guessing that they couldn’t handle it and went into their room for privacy.

Tia by this point is crying uncontrollably and I can’t console her. I can’t move. The hubs is still outside and I look out the still open front door and wonder where in the heck is my truck?

Tia comes up behind me, and has miraculously stopped crying and says; “He also took your truck.”

I slump to the floor as I have been hit with a six-pack. MY TRUCK! Who on God’s green earth would want to steal my truck? It never did anything to anybody, let alone break down and cause anyone any harm. MY TRUCK?

The hubs shows up in the doorway by now and has my cell phone in his hand.

“You missed your calls.”

“My truck is missing along with Trinity.”

“What?!?”

“I said, that our reliable daughter here let some creep into our home, let him take Trinity on the pretense that he was from some ‘Reliable Baking Company’, and he must have stole my spare key from the bureau in the vestibule when no one was looking and decided to take my truck instead on his way out. Which by the way is weird because his car is nowhere to be seen.”

“Oh.” He looked like he was in shock. Couldn’t tell because he decided to pick up some fruit and bite into it at this point.

I then realize the magnitude of the situation and realize that my baby, my little girl is missing! Missing.

I then scream, and fall out flat on the floor. I come to and realize that Tamara is laughing. She is watching a home video tape of Trinity and laughing at the dance that she is doing. I look at the TV screen and immediately start to cry.

Meanwhile, I am crying and wanting to move but can’t and wondering all at the same time, ‘Where in the heck is the Police? The hubby should have called them by now.'

Nope he hasn’t. And that sound came back. The low rumble that goes up and down in pitch like someone is grumbling in the back of their throat.

I go outside for some fresh air, and then decide to hop in the truck to go look for Trinity. I call out to her: “Don’t worry baby, momma is gonna find you!”

I look all over the small town, crying and looking, looking and crying, picturing my daughter crying and holding and out her hands in some strangers arms waiting for me to come rescue her.

I start to drive back home as the sun sets and pull up into my driveway. There is a limo parked in our driveway and the children are surrounded around it. This guy comes out of the limo and begins to pat my son on the head. He looks strangely familiar but I can’t place him.

I park the hubby’s truck and realize that Trinity is standing with the children. I am so happy I forget to put the truck in ‘park’, I felt like a small kick in my back, and I then hop out of the truck to go see who this person is as well as figure out how my daughter came back home.

I walk up to the limo asking myself ‘who is this person?’ ‘Is he the one who stole my baby?’ ‘He is very, very familiar whoever he is’.

I get a closer look as I come upon the limo and see that the person standing in front of me is Edward. Edward as in ‘Twilight’s’ Edward.

He turns to look at me and says “Hey how’s it going?”

I had no time to reply before the rest of the Cullen family popped out of the limo all dressed in their baseball gear as if ready to play a game. And they have Jacob with them as well.

I soon forget all about Trinity missing, my truck is gone, and that the hubby for some strange reason is now making me upset because he won’t stop snoring.

“You can come on in Edward, but the rest of you have to stay outside.” They don’t look so surprised that I have said that and just go into the neighboring field and start to play ball. Without any thunder or rain clouds. They don’t need it, their lousy ball players and don’t strike not one ball.

Edward is standing in my doorway and telling me: “Come on let’s watch a movie.” I look at him and want to say ‘You know what, lets invite Emmet in and see if he wants to see the movie as well.’ But I don’t say it because I don’t want to hurt his feelings and let it be known that I think Emmet is cuter than Edward, but ah well!

Okay, I admit it I am not the brightest light bulb in the ceiling light fixture, but when I awoke from this dream I just knew that it was real. So real that I had to pinch the hubby and get Trinity’s foot out of my back as I quietly got out of bed and on the computer to jot this all down before I forgot.

Now, do you think I am weird because I dream so vividly? You decide!