Challenges Lie Ahead, Just Waiting To Be Fixed.

I consider myself a very headstrong person, who will try her utmost best to get what she wants. I just never thought that my marriage would be on such shaky ground with my new quest to be thinner and healthier.

I doubt that the hubby is aware of how serious I am about losing weight. We've both tried losing weight together a year ago and the momentum fizzled after about two months.

We just got our taxes back and bought a new treadmill. We started out slow like 15 minutes a day then gradually increased everyday until we were on the treadmill for 45 minutes everyday.

Hubby then graduated to burning 700 calories a day at 7 MPH, while I began decreasing to walking for only 30 minutes at 3.5 MPH. I never really considered that I could burn more if I increased my speed, but I was new and wasn't trying to be on America's Funniest Home Videos with the fat momma being thrown off of the treadmill. Hubby loves the video camera, by the way.

So, after two weeks of trying to win smoother abs, tight ass, and muscular biceps we were sorely disappointed that our physique didn't match with the models in our Fitness magazines that came faithfully every month. Disillusioned? YES, ready to admit it? NO!

Now that I am back on the fitness kick, I've picked up some habits that the hubby is not too crazy about.

SCENARIO: Saturday night and the hubby is off. Goes to the store and brings home vanilla-filled cookies, cream cheese and ice cream.

"Look what I got. Want some?" He proceeded to place them all on the kitchen table that I am sitting comfortably at cutting coupons.

Looking at him as if he grown another head; "No, I'm on a diet remember?"

"Oh yeah, forgot. Sorry."

Continues to open the packages and throw together in a bowl the cookies, smear cream cheese on them, and slap some vanilla ice-cream on top.

Saliva pools at the corner of my mouth as I watch him chop down on one of our favorite pastimes on our quest to appease our cravings for junk food.

"You're not going to seriously sit there and eat that all in front of me, are you?"

"Yomhu domhn wanamh nonmhn, sohn behnm itmn."

"Your not serious are you? I mean, you know I am struggling with this whole dieting thing. I have to face my demons and not be tempted by such lack of pure unadulterated control over junk food, yet here you come in here with this crap. And I'm supposed to just accept that?"

Hubby looks at me now as if I grew a new head. I could have got up very graciously and just went into my room and closed the door, but I didn't.

Instead I decided to fight fire with fire. I went to the refrigerator, and pulled out my lettuce, tomatoes, carrots, two boiled eggs, mushrooms, red onions, and my French honey salad dressing. Preparing a big bowl of delicious salad would be my way of showing him that he will not sabotage my progress so far and I will win this battle of the bulge.

Instead of fixing the salad, I busted into tears. It was then I realized how much trouble the hubby and I really are in.

This was the defining moment when I realized that we needed help and that our problems were bigger than we can handle. It has to be done.

Marriage counseling is a big thing for me to handle, but the hubby and I got through our first two sessions together. I believe that we are on the right road to recovery now. And I don't need ice cream to celebrate the moment.