I've Been Dreaming

I usually don’t dream but last night I did. If I do dream it is because I’ve slept too much or I tossed and turned all night. I’m hoping it’s the former and not the latter or I’m going to be more tired then a drunken monkey.

I dreamt about Madea. For those of you who don’t know Madea, she is the creation of Tyler Perry who has the shows on TBS called ‘House of Payne’ and ‘Meet the Browns’. He has also made quite a few movies like ‘Diary of a Mad Black Woman’ starring Shemar Moore and Kimberly Elise; and the ‘Family That Preys’ with Alfre Woodard and Kathy Bates.

I love the character Madea. She is loud, boisterous, funny, and downright lovable. It’s a plus that ‘she’ is played by a ‘he’, but that’s okay. I’m no hater. I love people of all shapes, sizes, color, height, breed, and whatever you have between you legs; makes me no never mind. The only person that I tease about their height is my SIL who I’ve told to write a letter of complaint to the town mayor for building the sidewalk too close to her ass. It’s all in fun.

Now I realize that Mr. Tyler has been receiving some criticism from people for wearing the dress and portraying a woman. But hell, he is a success and people worldwide love his Madea! She’s the grandma everyone needs or wants. However my Grandmother is never as boisterous as Madea, but she gets her point across just fine. Plus, I love a man who is comfortable wearing a dress and not afraid to laugh at himself in public. Now back to my dream.

Well, me the hubby and my son were outside this woman’s house just sweep her yard. The yard was full of leaves and we were using brooms. WTF? But it’s a dream. Let me continue. So we finish sweeping and piling the leaves in piles, but we don’t put them into any bags.

I began to help the hubs without even knowing why or what we were doing there at some random stranger’s house. He knew though and insisted that I help. So that’s what I was doing when he said that we should stop and go to the old lady and tell her we were done. Done? “I thought we were to put them in bags?” I shouted at him. Strange, even in my dream I still show my irritation to the hubby.

Anyskittle, we go up these horrendous flights of stairs that go on forever. I mean it was like the sky was the limit. As we climbed up the stairs we stopped and looked at a kite that was aimlessly flying in the wind. No kid holding it on the other end, just floating in the sky without a thought or care. We continued our trek. We come to the ladies door and I knock.

I hear this shrill “Who is it?” I back away. The hubby then opens the door a smidgen and shouts in the crack “It’s me!”

“Who the hell is ‘ME’?” she says. The hubby stands back and looks at me. He has a slight grin on his face but proceeds to say “Umm, we were out sweeping your leaves.”

“Oh is that you? Come on in. Why didn’t you say so?” Madea then opens the door big as life. She has on a turquoise dress with little white flowers. I just stare at her as she is standing there smiling. I don’t move. The hubby and son go in and look back at me like I’ve lost my head.

"Your, your, your Madea!" I stutter.

“Yeah, won’t you come on in? I’ve just made some food for you’ll to eat. Ya hungry?”

I finally nod my head and walk inside. Her house has lots of trinkets and lots of little statues around. Comfy in a sort of maternal kind of way.

“Have a seat.” She leads us to her dining room and we sit down. She brings out all this food like a rotisserie chicken, sweet yams, collard greens, corn on the cob, biscuits, and dinner mints. Can you tell that I went to bed hungry?

Anyskittle, we laugh and Madea told more jokes than I ever heard. The details are kind of fuzzy because this is the time when the hubby began to shift around the bed and blow his fog horn in my ear. Let’s just say if you do decide to visit Madea, I’m quite sure she’ll be a gracious host. Just invite me to come along.

Or better yet, meet me at the theater when you go to see ‘Madea Goes to Jail’. It’s this Friday. Let’s make it a date!