When we are faced with conflicts, we have to try to separate our issues from the other person's issues as we can not expect perfection from them or ourselves.
We have to let go of our need to control, especially over situations which we can not control. Instead, strive for peace and manageability within yourself. You do have to own your own power to be who you want to be, then and only then can you begin to take care of yourself.
Do not tolerate abuse from anyone! Neither can you mistreat or abuse anyone else. Work at letting go of the things that frighten you. Begin to develop a confidence within yourself. Of course we will make mistakes along the way, but you can learn from them and forgive yourself when you do make them.
Figure out your main responsibilities, and stick to them! Leave room for great days and not so great days, because with responsibility you have to have the strength to deal with day to day hassels. Be flexiable but also protect yourself and take care of your responsibilities.
GENTLENESS VS. ASSERTIVENESS
Be gentle and loving with people whenever possible, but you have to be assertive if the situation calls for it. If you do have any strength accept it and build on that inner strength within. On the other hand, accept your weaknesses and limitations, including the limitations of your power.
Set reasonable goals for yourself and stick with them. Always take yourself into account. Work hard at maintaining some kind of balance in your life.
GRIPE SESSION OR PITY PARTY?
When we really get into dealing with ourselves on a personal level, we tend to give ourselves a gripe session to let it all out. But do it appropriately so as it does not become a pity session. This session is meant to take care of ourselves and release feelings; not to sabotage ourselves. Stay away from self-defeating behaviors like pity.
Some people like competition, others avoid it. It all depends on your personality. In a world full of people other than yourself strive for cooperation and a loving spirit among humankind. It is understandable that there are some people we can not get along with, but take it in stride. If you strive to find harmony and balance with everyone including those you don't get along with, they may soon follow suit. However, don't deny how you feel about a certain person. The best that you could do is strive to get along with everyone.
WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW, YOU DON'T KNOW
When you don't know something, say that you don't know. We all need help sometimes, don't deny it, just ask for it directly. You have to strive to take responsibility to take care of yourself by appropriately asking for what you need. Do it, don't neglect yourself.
When panic does set in, address it. This may be a separate issue, but try not to let your daily life or behavior be controlled by panic.
THERE IS NO 'I' IN TEAMWORK
If you are part of a team, strive for a healthy teamwork attitude. This will be an opportunity for you to learn how to work cooperatively with other people.
DYSFUNCTION IN LIFE
Life can begin to feel pretty crazy if we are surrounded by people who interrupt our mojo and are constantly dysfunctional. Our mojo is the personal magnetism or charm within ourselves that attracts others to us. We begin to lose some of it if we are constantly drained by dealing with people who take up so much of our energy. When this does happens don't make yourself crazier by denying the problem. Accept it and strive in peace to figure out what you need to do to take care of yourself.
ARE YOU THE MARTYR OR RESCUER?
In life we need to let go of our need to be the martyr or rescuer. Deep down you know that you do not have to stay in situations that make you miserable. Yet, some of us do. Instead of sabotaging ourselves, plan a positive solution, and try to understand deep down that you need to take responsibilty for yourself along the way to having a sucessful life. Remove yourself as the victim, instead be the survivor and eventually the conqueror of your life. Also, believe that you deserve the best. Begin to practice acceptance, gratitude, and faith, then you can move on.
LIVE LIFE ONE DAY AT A TIME!!!
-Enjoy what is good in life.
-Solve the problems that are yours to solve.
-Give the gift of yourself in all of the work that you do.
-Be a conqueror, not a victim.
-Remove all distractions that are dysfunctional.
-Work well together with others.
-Admit when you don't know something. (no one likes a know it all.)
-Be competitive only when the situation is appropriate.
-Have no pity parties, only criticize yourself to make a change for the better.
-Set reasonable goals.
-Be gentle but assertive.
-Be responsible for all of your actions.
-Avoid abusive situations.
-Accept what situations that you CAN control.
-Handle conflicts with grace.
Most importantly: LOVE YOURSELF!