Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Things That Make Me Smile

In this ever bustling, busy, always in a rush world, I sometimes find a quite moment to reflect on my good fortune and how wonderful life can be. It is then that I find the little, simple things that make me smile.

My children. All seven of them.

Next Wednesday is their first day back to school. It will be wonderful that they will finally end their summer vacation lounging in my house all day, and I can now sit for a quite moment to read, scratch, burp, blog, doodle, and watch TV without being disturbed. By day two I’ll be so bored and hoping upon hope that the bus driver will make a u-turn and bring my children back.

Its when they are at home and fighting, and picking with each other, or just being their own usual rambunctious selves I then grit my teeth and say:


Then again, I haven’t been talking to the lord lately, so when HE sees me on the caller ID, I think he hangs up.

Either that or he just smiles as if to say, ‘You can handle it.’

I’ll go for the latter.

My eldest son, as stated in earlier posts can tickle my funny bone and make me laugh.

The diva shines in her own special way.

Then there is diva #2 who has now come into her own and has surprised me with holding down a job this summer, and she has really blossomed into a beautiful young lady.

Then that leaves Tisha who is twelve, Taj who is nine, Tamara who will be seven soon, and baby Trinity who is three.

Out of those four, it is Tamara who gives me the most reflection on my days when I need a smile.


TAMARA falling off of the steps in her haste to help with the final touches in the flower garden in the front yard: “OWWW! Waaaaah, I cut my knee!!”

ME running to aid my poor clumsy child: “What happened? How’d you fall? Are you okay?”

TAMARA clearly the drama queen as her little ‘scrape’ has now become a very big deal: “Aaaaaaaah! I’m gonna die!”

ME clearly used to the dramatics: “Shhh now. You’ll be okay. Look it’s just a scratch, not even a cut. Why don’t you go inside and get a band-aid? There’s a good girl. You can stand. I’ll help you up the stairs. I got the door. Okay. Now go in your bathroom and look under the sink cabinet

and there is a green and white box full of band-aids. Find one or two and put them on your cut.”

TAMARA pouting: “I want a big band-aid.”

ME clearly tired of the dramatics by now but trying not to sound too impatient: “You can have a big band-aid. Just pick whichever one you want.”

TAMARA clearly all better now that the words ‘band-aid’ and ‘whichever one you want’ was mentioned: “Aren’t you coming in with me? Can you wipe it for me?”

ME: “You’ll be okay girl. Just go in there and find a band-aid. You can use a piece of tissue to wipe off the little bit of blood. Go ahead now. You’ll be okay.”

TAMARA walking away without a limp.


ME happily engaged in planting some lavender bushes in my psychedelic array of flowers, shrubs, and herbs. I turn around to the sound of “I FOUND IT.”

TAMARA standing on the bottom step of the front staircase proudly showing off her big band-aid.

A band-aid the same size and shape of a Kotex maxi pad without wings.


TAMARA engaged in a conversation with her older brother at the kitchen table one morning: “You know what Taj, one day you and I will be married and have houses of our own.”

TAJ clearly not in the mood to talk about the long off future with his little sister: “I’m not marrying anyone.”

TAMARA: “Well some woman will catch your fancy and make your heart tingle. She’s the one that you’ll marry. And then soon you’ll be engaged in talks about how many children you want, and what college they’ll go to.”

ME clearly intrigued at this little six year old munchkin and her tendency to sound just like her momma.

TAJ clearly annoyed now because he wants to be done with this talk so that he can play the Wii: “Yeah, yeah. Look I’ll have kids. Lots of kids and I’ll bring them all to your house when I’m tired of them.”

TAMARA intrigued as well: “Oh yeah, how many?

TAJ: “Uh, about 10 or twelve.

TAMARA sucks in her breath sharply, eyes nearing bulging out of her head as she stares at her brother while holding her spoonful of cheerios precariously over the edge of her bowl. “Huh?!?”

ME nearly choking on the piece of toast that I almost sucked down my throat at Tajs’ response.

TAJ happy that he finally got Tamara to shut up for once since they began eating: “Yup about ten or twelve will do. I gotta get a big house though.”

TAMARA: Silence

ME: Stunned silence

TAJ drinking the last of his milk and burping in response to our stares. “What about you, how many children are you gonna have?”

TAMARA recovering from the shock of being told that she will one day be the aunt to ten or twelve nieces or nephews from one brother: “I don’t know Taj. I guess I’ll just borrow some of yours.”


TIA searching for some tool to finish a necklace that she was repairing: “Help me find it Tamara. I seen you with it last. I told you again and again not to touch my things.”

TAMARA sitting on the couch engrossed in another mindless episode of Spongebob Square Pants: “I didn’t have it I told you! Why you always blame me for things?!?”

TIA clearly losing patience: “Cause you always LOSE MY STUFF!”

ME trying to diffuse the situation: “Alright, calm down Tia. It has to be somewhere. Did you check the garbage? You know that is a favorite hiding place of Trinitys’.”

TIANA coming into the kitchen; our family meeting place, clearly looking for something as well: “Anyone see the tweezers? I think I got a splinter in my hand.”

TAMARA not looking from the TV screen to address Tiana: “I think I saw those in the room somewhere.”

TIANA: “Where?”

TAMARA shrugging her shoulders: “I don’t know.”

TIANA: “Well could you go get ‘em?”

TIA: “First she has to help me find my wire cutters so that I can finish this necklace. I have to have this done by tonight.”

ME sensing that things are going to heat up real soon: Okay, okay girls. Take a breather and calm down. Tamara turn off the TV and find the wire cutters. Tiana come with me. I think I know where some tweezers are.”


ME: “Tia did you find the wire cutters?”

TIA sounding like she is ready to explode: “NO!”

ME: “Well, join the club. I haven’t found any tweezers either. Tiana you alright?”

TIANA: “Yeah. It’s no biggie. It’ll eventually come out if I can’t find the tweezers.”

ME: “Don’t be silly. It can get infected!”

TIANA shrugging in response.

***** MINUTES LATER *****

TAMARA: “I found it.”

ME: “Found what?”

TAMARA: “The tweezers.”

ME: “I thought you were looking for the wire cutters?”

TAMARA: “Can’t find ‘em.”

ME: “Alright, bring what you got. I’m in the kitchen.”

ME turning to reach for the tweezers that Tamara has found as she walks in the kitchen, only to discover that she has found these gigantic pair of pliers with yellow handles and a scary doodad on the side.

ME, TIANA, and TIA can’t stop laughing at Tamara’s frown as she doesn’t understand what did she do that was so darn funny.

It’s these little moments that makes me smile. And grateful that I have a tribe of seven kids to keep me entertained.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Mom, The Wolfman and Me

I am going to tell you all a secret. Something my mom doesn't even know about.

I used to have the biggest crush on Joaquin Phoenix. Notice the emphasis on the words 'used to'.

Just to give you a little history lesson on my crazy and innocent crush.

As a little teen bopper in the late 80's, I used to LOVE his brother River Phoenix. I thought he was the cat's meow. Saw all his movies, read every article about him. Watched him live at the Oscar's and prayed hard that he would win. I even considered stalking him in L.A. when we lived in Cali. It was closed to being obsessed that I could come.

Then he overdosed in front of the Viper Room in Hollywood, and that was all she wrote.

Years later I saw Gladiator and fell head over heels for the tyrannical Commodus. The acting was chilling and I was all about bad boys then. (That would explain the EX husband).


I watched and bought all of his movies, joined his fan club, read every coverage on him from People magazine to GQ, and I even went so far as to attempt to write him a fan letter. I never mailed it.

I even considered putting his name on my license plates. They would have looked like this:


The hubby wasn't going for it. I don't blame him. Now.

It was this photo that did it for me last January.

Joaquin + Mountain Beard = SAY WHAT?!?

Okay what is it with actors who have such a brilliant career, and they want to throw it all away to pursue a music career. Yeah I know we've heard it all before, and my crush (even though innocent) died the moment I saw that picture.

Call me shallow, but I can't comprehend the former actor who almost won two Oscars and won one Golden Globe as a rapper. Can you?

He won a Grammy for the soundtrack 'Walk The Line', and now he wants to be a rapper. And guess who is rumored to produce his record? P. Diddy.

Yes people I know, the news is old about Joaquin Phoenix wanting to be a rapper. To prove that he is serious, BIL Casey Affleck is recording a documentary about the whole transition. A rapper who started his career rapping to such titles such as 'I Want A Refund', and droning on and on and trying to rhyme 'boom' and 'room' over and over again. Yes, rapping world beware, there is a new kid in town!

It's not even good rapping like Eminem, but it sounds like something put together on a paper napkin at the bar, two minutes before going on stage.

Yes, this twice nominated Oscar boy of Hollywood used to make my heart go all a flutter, but not anymore.

It's just scary.

And my mom still doesn't know.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Home Is Where the Heart Is!

Hello bloggers! Long time no see. I 've been a busy bee of sorts, so I will intend to update you.

The DIVA and her little bro are home. Back from their long extended stay up in New York. They really enjoyed themselves and couldn't wait to go out and visit with their friends instead of update their momma on what they did in the 'Big Apple'.

I started classes again this summer on July 6. (gulp) I am taking a Political Science class (the teacher already hates me), and a beginner Spanish class (the teacher is lovely). It is going on week 3 and I already have one quiz due this week for my Political Science class.

The political arena is touchy. I am not a very political person, but I am strong in my convictions and my principles, and do not waver from my views unless human life is at stake. That's when I shut my mouth, and let the big dogs scrap it out!


The hubby and I are on a little break from the therapy sessions, and will resume by the end of the month. (snort) Who ever said married life was easy should be strapped to a hard back chair in a room alone, and made to listen to Vanilla Ice with the volume at full blast.

The other children on the BIBI home front are doing okay. Some can't wait until school starts, others want to bum around all day in front of the stupid box and burn their brain cells with as much useless info that they can fill their brain cavity up with.

I on the other hand watch the most educational things that we mommy's find so amusing.

Monday thru Friday 10 AM - Live with Regis and Kelly. My grandmother calls them the Gracie and George of our time. Except they are not married. I just watch to see if they will ever get my email and call me to talk live, on the phone with them so that I can win a prize. Shameless right?

Monday thru Friday 11 AM - The View. Barbara Walters and her posse always make me laugh. I hope Elizabeth drops that bundle soon so that we can see the little bundle of joy!

Tuesday and Wednesday 9 PM - America's Got Talent. Who does not watch that show for all the bad auditions?!?

Tuesday 10 PM - Tori and Dean. Love Tori. Love Dean. Ahhh... What the rich do when they have time on their hands.

Thursday 9 PM
- She's Got The Look. Women over 35 looking sexy and doing their thing. There is hope for me yet!

Friday, Saturday, and Sunday
- If I am not carpooling to a friends house, sewing, doing homework, studying, cooking, washing clothes, or fixing a crumpled kids spirit 'cause they did not get what they wanted that week, then I tune to TCM for some old b&w movies.

Don't you just love the weekends?!?

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Happy Independence Day!



A Home of Our Own

I recently watched the movie “A Home of Our Own” starring Kathy Bates and Edward Furlong. Such a touching movie and that mother was strong as an ox to keep her family together. I won’t spoil the plot by telling you what happened in case you do happen to see it. I only mentioned it because it reminded me of my childhood and the constant moving that we did.

Bear with me. I digress.

Well, before leaving the urban jungle that we called home in Brooklyn NYC I always knew that my father was a shady character. When I was thirteen, my father decided he made enough enemies in NYC after living there all of his mean life, so he decided to move my mom, me, my three sisters, and my three brothers to the state capital. Yup. That’s right. Washington D.C.

I apologize in advance if I offend anyone reading who is from the D.C. area, but that place is off the chain! I learned so much about drug paraphernalia I am surprised that I didn’t become a pharmacist. I would have made straight ‘A’s’.

I also watched a neighborhood kid get shot, numerous drug busts, and one too many fights. After three weeks in that place called home, my mom decided that it was too much trouble to go outside, so we spent the next year and a half watching all of the action from our second story windows. I vaguely remember that we didn’t watch too much television around this time either.

After we were evicted from our gray painted peeling and in desperate need of a paint job house called home, we moved in with some friends in Baltimore, Maryland. My mom had the last of the Hann tribe in D.C. which made the grand total of children that my mother had an even eight. Yup. Five girls and three boys. She was only three shy of the total that my father had. He has eleven kids total. At least, that’s what he told us. But who knows.

Yes, with eleven children under his belt my papa was a rolling stone.


We stayed in Maryland for a total of eight months before heading to that great big state that always shines. Yup. Californ-i-a!

I was fifteen by then and would be sixteen in a couple of weeks of arriving there and it was not pleasant circumstances. We lived in the high desert and we were not aware that it only rained but once a year in the Mojave Desert and we just missed the annual downpour. I was missing the East coast by the time I was sixteen and three days.

After almost two years in the desert we made it back to the East Coast. My father liked driving and it took us almost a week, and he was the only driver. And I didn’t feel sorry not one bit for that mean scoundrel. He was a mean wheel man with caffeinated blood that accelerated his hatred. I was so happy to reach my grandmother’s house.

My grandmother has lived in her home since 1971. A year before her first grandchild (that would be me) was born. She has the same phone number and I’ve know her Queens address since I was six. It was the place that I called ‘home’ away from our multiple ‘homes’ before I married and got my own.

Now when I look at it, we moved so much that I began to look forward to the next road trip that would bring us new adventures, a new place to lay my head, and new friends. I never had a problem making friends, just a problem keeping them.

But we finally settled in VA in 1990, after a long extended-stay at my grandmother’s. I call this place home now, with its southern atmosphere, slow-paced patron’s who take the time to smell the roses (or who drive slow enough to watch them grow), and that everyone knows your family, and you know theirs. All of my children were born at the same hospital, they have the same pediatrician for the last 16 years, we visit the same library, and my children check out the same books now that I picked out when I was a teenager starting off here.

It’s a wonder I don’t get ‘town fever’ for staying put in one place for so long. I guess home IS a place where you lay your hat. Or in my case a Yankees cap.

I am still a New Yorker deep inside.

Bear with it!

Sunday, June 28, 2009

The Sweetest Thing

Awarded again. You guys are to much and are too sweet! I truly feel blessed to have such great friends. The first award comes from Akilah, Gemmerzz, Sheri, and Lucy. It is called the Awe-summ award. With this award you:

List 7 things that make you Awe-Summ and then pass the award on to 7 bloggers you love. Make sure to tag your recipients and let them know they have won! Also link back to the Queen that tagged you.

Hmmm... seven things that make me Awe-summ are:
1. I love charities
2. I love and respect my family
3. I trust far too much but can be trusted.
4. I love the finer things in life like sunsets, relaxing moments, and laughing with friends.
5. I love to stand up for those who can't speak for them selves like; children and animals.
6. I love to make blogging friends and to make them smile.
7. I love to be part of the solution and not the problem.

The seven people that I will send this award to are:

Mommy award

This award was given to me by Lucy. She is undoubtedly a great blogger and always on her game. I can never surpass her talent and she has just the words to comfort you or make you laugh. You go girl! Check her out today!

Rules of the Award:

Admit one thing you feel awful about involving being a mom. Get it off your shoulders. Once you've written it down, you are No Longer allowed to feel bad. It's over with, it's in the past. Remember, you're a good mom!

I feel awful when I feel bored being with my children. I love interaction with my children but sometimes it can be a bit overwhelming when you are with them 24/7.

Remind yourself you are a good mom, list seven things you love about your kids, you love doing with your kids, or that your kids love about you. These are the things to remind yourself everyday that you Rock!

I rock because:

1. My kids do have fun whenever we are together. Whether we are making playful videos, or playing a card game, we have fun.

2. My kids make me laugh. Especially when they argue with each other. It's like watching a hilarious sitcom.

3. My kids love when I make a 5 course meal with plenty of dessert for after wards.

4. I love playing Wii fit with kids. They love showing me up but I can always beat them in the walking aerobics game. Nobody has matched my stride yet!

5. My teenage girls love when I do their hair. They won't really go out of their way to say 'Thank You', but I can see their hidden joy.

6. I will go into my girls room and organize it just to spend some quality time with them. About nine hours of laughing, talking, and throwing things away that we found hilarious to even consider holding onto.

7. I love snuggling up with my kids and watching movies with them on an impulse. We don't have a scheduled family night, just spontaneity that we feel when we all need some quality time together.

Send this to five other Mom's Of The Year that deserve credit for being great moms and remind them that they are the best moms they can be!! Remember to send them a note to let them know you've selected them, and add a link to the person who nominated you.

Here are my five nominees:

1. Akilah (my sexy mama)

2. Mom ( my Canadian mom)

3. Christine (my other Canadian mom)

4. Lilly (my Australian mom)

5. Lucy ( My suburbia mom)

This award was given to me by Sheri. No rules or strings attached. Anyone who wants it can take it because every blog that I came across is truly enchanting to me. Plus, Tinkerbell is truly a cutie!

So take it and have fun. I love you all!

Schools Out and I Don't Intend to Stand Around and Twittle My Thumbs Either!

I apologize for being such a bad blogger of late. I promise, now that my semester of school was officially over this past Friday I can now pay attention to more important things! =^)

First things first, I have to post a BIG thank you to some of you for giving me awards. You are the best!

Second I have to write SOMETHING that has been plaguing the news of late. I don't like to talk about death, but my conscience won't let this one go away. (You are too bossy dude, go away!)

Third, I have two new followers. Thank you guys for being my friend. I totally enjoy the extra company.

Fourth, everything on the BIBI home front is doing okay!

The Diva and her little bro (my very articulate son) are in N.Y with my little bro. Rock on kids, school is not for another 7 weeks!

My kids go back to school in August. Something to do with making sure we get in early before the snow falls and we miss weeks and weeks of school. (Hey! I say the earlier the better! Like August 19th early )

Anytways, the hubby and I are doing okay. He has sleep apnea and sounds like Darth Vader when we go to bed now that he has to sleep with the CPAP mask on every night. But hey! it's a great idea for some role playing before I put my nightcap on. ; )

The baby, my little Trinity, turned 3 on the 24th of this month and I am exhilarated. This is the first time in a LONG time that one of my babies turned three and there is not another bun in the oven. Thank you Doc B for making sure that my momma factory stays closed. (no chastity belt required, besides its too late to observe some chastity now.)

I have only 5 children at home right now and I have no idea what to do. Why do I feel like a part of me is missing since my two oldest kiddies have been gone for two weeks now? Little bro will probably let them loose in about a week or so.

Until then, I'll take Tiana (14), Tisha (12), Taj (9), Tamara(6), and Trinity(now 3), to the community kiddie park for some quality time. Ohh! my creative mind is in overlaod.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Average Jane

Just recently my sis and I were talking about celeb actresses and I mentioned that I love any movie with Anne Hathaway. My sis then replied:

"I DO NOT like her, she is so average looking!"

Which I then replied:


We woman are all average Jane's'. We can multitask like no other. We get the job done. We can be sometimes very emotional, while laughing hysterically at the absurdness of it all. Those of us who have kids know the emotional ups and downs of having to think for them, you, and your partner while trying to do laundry, cook, and catch up on gossip with your girlfriend(s).

I love being an average Jane. Who doesn't?

I think that the average look escaped most of the Hollywood crowd though. Anyone see Janice Dickinson lately? Especially on 'I am A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here!'

One word: 'Collagen'.

Question : 'Why?' Boy the tabloids have nothing to talk about apparently. (Neither do I)

Unless you are Halle Berry and are blessed with good genes, a beautiful bod, and a gorgeous boyfriend. It doesn't help that you are one of the hottest celebs in Hollywood either. (The girl can look gorgeous just signing a book).

But then again, there is the character Edna (played by John Travolta) in the movie version of 'Hairspray'. John Travolta is a scream in that film, and I had a soft spot in my heart for Edna, the overweight, loving wife/mother, trying to run a business at home to avoid any social interaction.

Hmmm... sounds a little like me after baby number 7 as I tried to hide from view.

But in all seriousness, hubs if I ever get that big and decide to stay at home, please just say my big sparkly moo-moo gown looks good on me. It'll do wonders to set the mood in the house.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Love, Growth, and Maturity

I was looking through some old cards of the hubby and mine. We will be married for 10 years in August. Looking back on when we first married I have to say that we did have a whirlwind romance.

I was working at a giant retailer at the time, and he happened to see me working in the electronics department. He eventually started a conversation and we went from there.

I was getting over a BAD relationship with the first husband, trying to raise my three girls and one boy, and working on earning my first degree in college. (Going back to school after a eight year hiatus bites, but I got through it!)

He comforted me, consoled me, and reassured me that I was a strong women who was doing the right thing. I fell head over heels. We were married after two months courting.

The children were in the wedding and really loved having a 'dad' around again. I enjoyed having someone around to talk to and help me with the kids. Some would say I was on the rebound but I never felt as if I was going to give up on the relationship until we were married for about five years.

We never reached the seven-year itch before the real fights began. But we survived it and we are now smiling at each other, making goggling eyes at each other and talking 'dirty' when the kids aren't around. I think the therapist has done her job, but we will still continue to see her until we feel certain that we are absolutely on the right track.

While looking through some of the cards, our wedding cards, anniversary, new additions to the family, millions of birthday cards, and dozens of father and mother day cards, I found some with letters in them.

Have you ever wrote letters to your loved ones trying to explain the content of the card as well as the meaning behind the card?!? Well, if you are the BIBI that is a lot to write down. Being that I AM the talkative kind, I once wrote a letter with a beautiful card that was EIGHT pages long!!

Whew! Was I that into myself then?!?

Endlessly trying to explain why I snapped at him and why he needs to be patient with me and I've had such a shitty childhood that's why I am so messed up. Then spending a page or two apologizing for being me, and asking him to be patient with me because I was sooo screwed up and blah, blah, blah, blah, and blah.

I now realized that a marriage is about two people who share the same common interests and that one person cannot always see life as a victim. I was always making myself into the victim, one who could do no better because of my past. But my past does not define me anymore, because I am now the victor of my own destiny. I make my choices, good or bad, I decide to do better instead of waiting for someone to tell me that I have changed and that I am good now. I no longer acknowledge that little voice in my head that puts me down and tells me that I am no good.

I am good, not perfect, but good. I care, I love, I feel, I embrace my emotions,I laugh, I raise my beautiful children, I strive hard to make my loved ones comfortable, and I work hard at making sure that they are loved. I am me embracing life, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, whether I am sick or healthy. I am me and it is pretty absolutely gucking freat!

Friday, May 22, 2009

Happy Awards Day!

I know there really is no such day/holiday. I just thought that it was a catchy title!

Boo-hoo to me for posting this sooo late! Sorry Sheri!
But the good news is I was awarded an award by Sheri. Actually two awards! She is too generous!

Sheri is the consummate blogger who entertains, is humorous and is always keeping the reader up to date on the latest scoop in the news. She is a better read than People Magazine.

The first award is:

With this award I have to list five sexy things about myself:

1. I love to wear sexy lingerie to bed. ( That will explain the seven children).
2. I have curves that say there is more of me to love. ( I do belong to a group called the 'Curvaceous Club').
3. My cheekbones are my best features on my face. ( Some say my eyes, I beg to differ).
4. All summer long I wear flips and keep a pedicure. (Virtually impossible for me to do in the winter.)
5. Some think I am weird. I believe that weird is sexy because it is unique.

I give this award to these sexy people:
Akilah (you said it, I believe it, that settles it!)
Brenda Susan (you are beautiful and you know it)
Lilly (All Aussies' are purely sexy to me)
Speedcat (did anyone ever tell you that making people laugh is so sexy)
Heather (obvious you are too sexy for words)
Carma (you had me at belly button bling)
Lucy (living in the suburbs will do that to you)
Tina (we momma's are so sexy in our own way)
Ashley (obviously you and the hubs are the cutest on the blogosphere)
Kelly (honest and telling life like it is is sooo sexy)
Gemmerzz (you love life and show it)
JannaBee (being a friend is always ozzing sexiness)
Rachel (raising kids is so sexy)
Sheri (back at you babe!)
Kylie (yeah you girl)

The other award is the Vespa Blogger Friendship Award!

The following friends who are nominated for this award are:
Mr. Bill
Cyndi ( I know that you said 'the end' to your blog, but you are still my buddy)
Janna Bee
Mrs. GB

Thank you again Sheri! I am so sorry for taking so long to post it. I hope that this is recognized as better late than never! You are the best girl. Love ya!

To all of you nominated for these award, it is well deserved and I am honored to have such an opportunity to be able to give it to you! If you already have the award I am sorry, but you were nominated again.

I just love you that is all!


Wednesday, May 13, 2009


I want to take this time to say goodbye to my beautiful great Aunt Clara who lost her battle with a brain tumor on May 8, 2009 at 11:01 PM.

Also called a glioblastoma multiforme, my Aunt Clara was diagnosed with this type of fast growing; the most malignant form of a brain tumor in the summer of 2008. Late summer of that same year she had her first surgery which was done with much apprehension from the medical crew, but everyone was hoping for a success story. After the surgery, my Aunt Clara had chemo, and she was able to enjoy life for a while.

By Thanksgiving of last year it came back. The doctors opted for more chemo therapy and juggled with more surgery on her tumor invading her brain. My Aunt Clara then had another surgery and this one left her weaker than before she was operated on. But that wouldn’t stop her from hosting Christmas that year at her house, even though it was done while she sat on the couch in the living room the whole time. She was always a gracious host.

By January the tumor began to metastasize on to her central nervous system, and the doctors ultimately thought it was beyond their control to try another surgery. Her body couldn’t handle another one and she gave up on the chemotherapy as it made her too sick.

The last week of March was the last time that she would go to the hospital and leave with any good news. Soon after she was placed in Hospice and we all waited. Soon my Aunt Clara couldn’t sit up any more because the cancer began to invade her spinal cord and she was steadily losing muscle tone.

The next week she couldn’t speak as her vocal cords were ravaged by the cancer. She would still respond to verbal communication when you spoke to her by nodding her head and keeping eye contact.

Soon after she began to lose her eyesight as the cancer infiltrated her blood vessels in her eyes and they became bloodshot red. She still would reach out to you if you spoke to her. This Friday she lost her battle with her enemy who wanted to take her from her family, friends and loved ones. My Aunt Clara is survived by a son, my cousin Kevin, a daughter-in-law Vida, and two grandchildren Raynard and Zarah. She also left behind her six sisters, one of whom happen to be my grandmother, who stood by her side and made sure that her ‘little’ sister was always comfortable. My Aunt Clara was 71 years young.

Of course I can not forget her love of her life, her husband, my Uncle Charles who stood by my aunt for more than 50 years. They also retired together traveling to China, Europe, Italy, numerous trips to Disneyland with the grand kids, and countless trips to VA, whenever I had a wee little one. She was the most generous woman in our family always organizing family reunions, birthday parties, holiday get-togethers, and just plain picnics whenever one of us wanted to get together, especially if we came from out of town visiting one another.

My mother said that my Aunt Clara had a ‘long arm’ which is a Persian saying meaning someone who is very generous. And that she was. Sharing her boisterous laugh, advice and love I will miss my Aunt Clara greatly. She was always a comfort to me whenever life got me down especially whenever I was going through many prepubescent and teenage trials and tribulations. With a great big smile on her face and not a seemingly fake bone in her body, I was always glad to see my Aunt Clara at family functions or reunions.

Her funeral will be held this Friday at 12 PM in Westchester County, New York. Surrounded by loved ones, friends and family I am hoping that she will feel the love that we will bestow upon her that day as we celebrate not her death, but the life that she led and left behind for us all to remember.

Farewell my sweet sweet aunt. You will be surely missed.

May you rest in peace!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

May 5, 2009 marks the 147th Cinco De Mayo.

I remember distinctly, when I was a child, some of my Spanish friends celebrating this holiday, but I vaguely remember why it was celebrated.

Personally I believe that it should be an American holiday as well, because 4,000Mexican soldiers smashed the French and Mexican army of 8,000 at Puebla, Mexico, 100 miles east of Mexico City, New Mexico on the morning of May 5, 1862. Kind of heroic huh?!? To know more, read here.

I wondered if I am qualified to celebrate. Some of my ancestors were Portuguese. :D

Monday, April 27, 2009

Come and Meet Mr. Whazitooya!

I digress.

The hubby is getting on my nerves. Again. Nothing new, he is always getting on my nerves. But this time it is more serious. In the last two weeks of thought of the 'D' word at least five times.

No not 'damn', 'dummy', or 'dead as a door nail when I get through with you', but divorce!

Here's why.

Anyone who has been reading this blog knows that the hubby and I do go to counseling/therapy. Ms. G has recently begun to see us every two weeks instead of every week because she thought we were making such good progress. She thought.

Now, this coming up session I am going to tell her that we need to come back every week so that the hubby can begin to learn to use his resources that God gave to him at birth.

It's called a piehole. It's the thing one inch right above your chin, and when you stand up straight it sits right under your nose.

He uses it to stuff it with food, talk/yell at the kids, talk to the boss, cuss at the TV, and to call loved ones when they are too far away to visit. He uses it for everyone except me. I get the silent treatment.

Me addressing the hubby when he comes in from a long day at work: "How was your day"?

Hubby with back turned: "Ok".

Me frowning: "What was that"?

Hubby talking in a higher octave than necessary: "It was okay".

Me silently fuming with arms crossed and everything.

Hubby using the bathroom and making it smell like something died in there.

Me with one can of air freshener sprayed directly at the bathroom door as the hubby comes out of the 'stink room': "Ummm... you don't smell that"?

Hubby ignoring me as he clears his throat and shrugs his shoulder.

Me: "Well"?

Hubby quietly: "Well what"?

Me: "Don't you want to talk about your day"?

Hubby: "It was okay".

Me: "And what else? And in case you have forgotten I've been holed up in the house with three teens who right now hate me because I made them go to bed after Jay Leno's' monologue and are probably plotting my demise right now as we speak, a 12 year old who picks on her little brother ALL DAY LONG, a six-year old who runs all day even to go so far as to kick in her sleep, and a two year old who loves to wear make-up to bed and screams when I try to remove it. So please, no wise cracks. Just some honest to goodness adult conversation".

Hubby blinking at me as I try to catch my breath.

Me staring back at him as I try to regain my composure.

Hubby makes a beeline for the bathroom to take a shower.

Me sighing as I now realize that it is going to be another non-talkative lonely night.


I really don't want to make the TV my best companion at night as I turn to it to have some normalcy of conversation. Or spend another night fuming in my journal and pressing down so hard on the paper I can read what I wrote six pages ahead. But what else is there to do?

I think the hubby forgot that when we agreed to counseling for our marriage we were to get better at communicating, not shutting each other out of our lives.

I also realize that he does work two jobs and is under a lot of stress and maybe making conversation at 11:30 PM when everyone is just beginning to look at the back of their eyelids is probably not the best time to converse.

But then what is?!?

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

So Dorable!

I was given another award. I am so late in acknowledging it. I apologize Mrs. GB. But thank you Mrs. GB. Check her out everyone, she is a joy to read!

I am so happy that I have been awarded by posting my thoughts, feelings and intimate life that I hold so dear and private to myself. I feel so rewarded for just having had made friends and have them cheer me on, cry with me, laugh with me (or at) and congratulate me on anything that I am doing good on. I feel so blessed and very fortunate that I have all of you blogreaders who are so kind to even take your time and read a little bit of what's going on in my life. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

*Ahem Ahem*

Now that I have given you all of your due praise I now will award the very people who have made my blogging experience so enjoyable. The rules are to:

Include the award logo in your blog or post.
Nominate as many blogs which you like.
Be sure to link to your nominees within your post.
Let them know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog.
Share the love and link to this post and to the person from whom you received your award.

So my fellow nominees are:
1. Akilah
2. Sheri
4. Gemmerzz
5. The Mind of Mom
6. Rachel
7. Tia
8. Mr. Bill (no offense Bill, but I find you adorable)
9. Janna Bee
10. Tina
11. Kylie
12. Heather (right back at ya babe!)
13. Carma Sez
14. Lucy
15. Kelly
16. Stone
17. Mimi Lenox
18. Jessica
19. Chris
20. Lilly
21. Cyndi
22. Christine
23. Brenda Susan
24. Sara
25. Nilsa
26. Sandi
27. Julie Rose
28. Brenda Lou
29. Speedcat Hollydale
30. Deutlich

Well, I hope those of you reading enjoy the blogs listed. I hope my nominees like the award. And all of you have a good and happy EARTH DAY!

Until then...

Sunday, April 19, 2009


And when you do give life a try, give it some UMPH! I know I can use a little of it myself!

Thanks for hanging with me guys. Will post soon.

Watch as the drama unfolds....

Friday, April 10, 2009

Friday Favorites #3

I have now officially joined the fan club of Janna Bee. She is a mom ( like me), sweet (more than me), is funny (I am trying), and loves her hubby (well three out of four is not too bad).

Just joking people! I love the hubby. As you can see, he is my favorite subject. LOL!

Antyways, I have the real deal here and what has made my week thus so far!

I fiercely felt like I was suffocating and then realized that I was having a good all panic attack. Yeah Monday!

Kids got on the bus okay, tried to get on the computer (failed 'cause of the lovely eyes), wanted to exercise but the treadmill yelled at me, so I did the next best thing. Slept until midday and then ordered in for pizza from Domino's for dinner. Kids are so grateful and sooo easy to please!

Cried with the hubby as we watched little girl who was killed in CA mother cry as she tried to talk to Matt Lauer on the Today show. We haven't shared an intimate moment like that in a long time. I then realized that you can be very intimate just sharing a tearful moment together. We prayed for all the little boys and girls who are missing their moms and dads, and for all the moms and dads whose little ones are still missing.

Got on the computer and learned that Mrs. GB gave me an awesome award. Thanks girlfriend!

Watched DWTS without any pain, then caught 'The Biggest Loser' and cried. I so felt so guilty that I didn't exercise with Jillian.

Kids went to bed with no complaints. Hubby stole into bed at exactly 11:30 PM and didn't snore until 2 AM.

Made an appointment with Dr. W for my eyes. Was very nervous but in too much pain to put up a fight. My insurance wouldn't cover the exam, but the receptionist assured me that I will be reimbursed by the insurance company since that insurance is not being covered for any vision eye care in the area. Love the country!

Watched the History channel and learned the real significance behind Passover. I love learning something new everyday!

Watched a new episode of 'LOST' and thoroughly enjoyed it. Minus the washcloth, just sat back and relaxed. Help was on the way!

Got my meds and new glasses prescription filled. Applied the magic eyedrops and instantly felt better. Hubby was there supporting me every step of the way. He went into work late because of me, but he is such a dear.

Thanked Oprah as I caught the last half-hour of her show with Dr. Laura Bergman as she talked about explaining masturbation and pleasure to your daughters. Essentially, it was all about the "sex talk". I will be blushing for a whole month as I remember my Divas' face of horrorification as she listened to something that I have NEVER thought to discuss. Kudos to Oprah. You now have mothers everywhere like me wondering will they get 'those' questions.

Watched 'CSI' without any pain, and 'Harper's Island'. Felt grateful that my eyes were getting some relief and I was able to watch TV without any pain.

Slept well that night in more than a month.

Grateful to see that Virginia Tech is now ready to open Norris Hall after the deadly shooting that claimed the lives of sooo many innocent people. I am just glad that hubby decided to take a semester off when the shooting did occur. My condolences to those who lost loved ones in that unnecessary massacre.

Watched the news and was relieved to see that the economy or the stock market seems to be leveling off somewhat. Okay, but some kind of news is better than no news.

And how did your week go? Enjoy the Easter weekend everyone!