So Real, I Must Be Dreaming!

My little "ladies"

Ever had one of those moments in life that felt so real, looked so real, that you just had to be dreaming?!? I did.

The hubby and I like to go for walks. And since we like to walk but not on the country roads, we usually take a ride into town, walk the track at the University and then perhaps do some shopping afterwards before going home.

Well we did that this particular day, and decided to leave Tia home with the children. No biggie right?!? She always does some baby-sitting on the side to earn a few bucks.

So, the hubby and I are walking and enjoying our little time together. Usually I have my cell phone on and with me as I walk, but this particular day I decide ‘nahhh, the kids never call me so I’ll leave it in the truck’.

An hour has passed and the hubs and I are still walking. Little did I know my cell phone is ringing off the hook with Tia trying to reach me.

The hubby and I decide that we don’t need to go to the store, and take the scenic route home. I never once looked at my phone to see if the children had called or anything, I am just enjoying life and just peachy.

I get home and my front door is wide open, and Tamara is in the doorway crying. My momma sense kicks in and I immediately begin to open my door as the car is still rolling up the driveway. I would have jumped out as well if the hubby hadn’t grabbed me.

I storm into the house, ready to take on the world when I notice that all of the kids are gathered in the living room and crying. I immediately see that Trinity is not there.

“Where’s my baby?” I ask, looking at all of them and they immediately begin sobbing like they feel guilty.

I panic and look at Tia, who is by the way crying silently and looks the guiltiest of all.

“Mom, Trinity is gone.”

My mind takes a moment to register as I try to process the word ‘gone’.

“Like gone to heaven gone or just decided to walk off into the forest as if trying to runaway. And remember answer correctly because she IS only two years old”.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t know who he was. He said that he came from the American Beauty contest and that he was to pick her up and take her to the station in Richmond and that …”

I put up my hand to silence her. Strangely quiet and calm I don’t realize that I am shaking. The hubby is still outside twinkling with his truck and has not come in yet. I know this because I hear this low rumble that reaches a pitch in tone, then levels out, then reaches a pitch, then levels out. Strange sound to take notice of when your child has been potentially kidnapped but hey that’s me, taking it all in.

By this time I am stuttering to make sense of my words; “Wwwhat, wwhen, and how did this happen?”

I look up and notice that my eldest son is gone and that Tamara is gone as well. I shrug guessing that they couldn’t handle it and went into their room for privacy.

Tia by this point is crying uncontrollably and I can’t console her. I can’t move. The hubs is still outside and I look out the still open front door and wonder where in the heck is my truck?

Tia comes up behind me, and has miraculously stopped crying and says; “He also took your truck.”

I slump to the floor as I have been hit with a six-pack. MY TRUCK! Who on God’s green earth would want to steal my truck? It never did anything to anybody, let alone break down and cause anyone any harm. MY TRUCK?

The hubs shows up in the doorway by now and has my cell phone in his hand.

“You missed your calls.”

“My truck is missing along with Trinity.”

“What?!?”

“I said, that our reliable daughter here let some creep into our home, let him take Trinity on the pretense that he was from some ‘Reliable Baking Company’, and he must have stole my spare key from the bureau in the vestibule when no one was looking and decided to take my truck instead on his way out. Which by the way is weird because his car is nowhere to be seen.”

“Oh.” He looked like he was in shock. Couldn’t tell because he decided to pick up some fruit and bite into it at this point.

I then realize the magnitude of the situation and realize that my baby, my little girl is missing! Missing.

I then scream, and fall out flat on the floor. I come to and realize that Tamara is laughing. She is watching a home video tape of Trinity and laughing at the dance that she is doing. I look at the TV screen and immediately start to cry.

Meanwhile, I am crying and wanting to move but can’t and wondering all at the same time, ‘Where in the heck is the Police? The hubby should have called them by now.'

Nope he hasn’t. And that sound came back. The low rumble that goes up and down in pitch like someone is grumbling in the back of their throat.

I go outside for some fresh air, and then decide to hop in the truck to go look for Trinity. I call out to her: “Don’t worry baby, momma is gonna find you!”

I look all over the small town, crying and looking, looking and crying, picturing my daughter crying and holding and out her hands in some strangers arms waiting for me to come rescue her.

I start to drive back home as the sun sets and pull up into my driveway. There is a limo parked in our driveway and the children are surrounded around it. This guy comes out of the limo and begins to pat my son on the head. He looks strangely familiar but I can’t place him.

I park the hubby’s truck and realize that Trinity is standing with the children. I am so happy I forget to put the truck in ‘park’, I felt like a small kick in my back, and I then hop out of the truck to go see who this person is as well as figure out how my daughter came back home.

I walk up to the limo asking myself ‘who is this person?’ ‘Is he the one who stole my baby?’ ‘He is very, very familiar whoever he is’.

I get a closer look as I come upon the limo and see that the person standing in front of me is Edward. Edward as in ‘Twilight’s’ Edward.

He turns to look at me and says “Hey how’s it going?”

I had no time to reply before the rest of the Cullen family popped out of the limo all dressed in their baseball gear as if ready to play a game. And they have Jacob with them as well.

I soon forget all about Trinity missing, my truck is gone, and that the hubby for some strange reason is now making me upset because he won’t stop snoring.

“You can come on in Edward, but the rest of you have to stay outside.” They don’t look so surprised that I have said that and just go into the neighboring field and start to play ball. Without any thunder or rain clouds. They don’t need it, their lousy ball players and don’t strike not one ball.

Edward is standing in my doorway and telling me: “Come on let’s watch a movie.” I look at him and want to say ‘You know what, lets invite Emmet in and see if he wants to see the movie as well.’ But I don’t say it because I don’t want to hurt his feelings and let it be known that I think Emmet is cuter than Edward, but ah well!

Okay, I admit it I am not the brightest light bulb in the ceiling light fixture, but when I awoke from this dream I just knew that it was real. So real that I had to pinch the hubby and get Trinity’s foot out of my back as I quietly got out of bed and on the computer to jot this all down before I forgot.

Now, do you think I am weird because I dream so vividly? You decide!

I've Been Dreaming

I usually don’t dream but last night I did. If I do dream it is because I’ve slept too much or I tossed and turned all night. I’m hoping it’s the former and not the latter or I’m going to be more tired then a drunken monkey.

I dreamt about Madea. For those of you who don’t know Madea, she is the creation of Tyler Perry who has the shows on TBS called ‘House of Payne’ and ‘Meet the Browns’. He has also made quite a few movies like ‘Diary of a Mad Black Woman’ starring Shemar Moore and Kimberly Elise; and the ‘Family That Preys’ with Alfre Woodard and Kathy Bates.

I love the character Madea. She is loud, boisterous, funny, and downright lovable. It’s a plus that ‘she’ is played by a ‘he’, but that’s okay. I’m no hater. I love people of all shapes, sizes, color, height, breed, and whatever you have between you legs; makes me no never mind. The only person that I tease about their height is my SIL who I’ve told to write a letter of complaint to the town mayor for building the sidewalk too close to her ass. It’s all in fun.

Now I realize that Mr. Tyler has been receiving some criticism from people for wearing the dress and portraying a woman. But hell, he is a success and people worldwide love his Madea! She’s the grandma everyone needs or wants. However my Grandmother is never as boisterous as Madea, but she gets her point across just fine. Plus, I love a man who is comfortable wearing a dress and not afraid to laugh at himself in public. Now back to my dream.

Well, me the hubby and my son were outside this woman’s house just sweep her yard. The yard was full of leaves and we were using brooms. WTF? But it’s a dream. Let me continue. So we finish sweeping and piling the leaves in piles, but we don’t put them into any bags.

I began to help the hubs without even knowing why or what we were doing there at some random stranger’s house. He knew though and insisted that I help. So that’s what I was doing when he said that we should stop and go to the old lady and tell her we were done. Done? “I thought we were to put them in bags?” I shouted at him. Strange, even in my dream I still show my irritation to the hubby.

Anyskittle, we go up these horrendous flights of stairs that go on forever. I mean it was like the sky was the limit. As we climbed up the stairs we stopped and looked at a kite that was aimlessly flying in the wind. No kid holding it on the other end, just floating in the sky without a thought or care. We continued our trek. We come to the ladies door and I knock.

I hear this shrill “Who is it?” I back away. The hubby then opens the door a smidgen and shouts in the crack “It’s me!”

“Who the hell is ‘ME’?” she says. The hubby stands back and looks at me. He has a slight grin on his face but proceeds to say “Umm, we were out sweeping your leaves.”

“Oh is that you? Come on in. Why didn’t you say so?” Madea then opens the door big as life. She has on a turquoise dress with little white flowers. I just stare at her as she is standing there smiling. I don’t move. The hubby and son go in and look back at me like I’ve lost my head.

"Your, your, your Madea!" I stutter.

“Yeah, won’t you come on in? I’ve just made some food for you’ll to eat. Ya hungry?”

I finally nod my head and walk inside. Her house has lots of trinkets and lots of little statues around. Comfy in a sort of maternal kind of way.

“Have a seat.” She leads us to her dining room and we sit down. She brings out all this food like a rotisserie chicken, sweet yams, collard greens, corn on the cob, biscuits, and dinner mints. Can you tell that I went to bed hungry?

Anyskittle, we laugh and Madea told more jokes than I ever heard. The details are kind of fuzzy because this is the time when the hubby began to shift around the bed and blow his fog horn in my ear. Let’s just say if you do decide to visit Madea, I’m quite sure she’ll be a gracious host. Just invite me to come along.

Or better yet, meet me at the theater when you go to see ‘Madea Goes to Jail’. It’s this Friday. Let’s make it a date!