Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Do you have marital woes too?

If you haven't guessed it already I am married. For nine years I've been indulged in a lifestyle many perpetrate as a social standard of living to the utmost of morally sociable and civilized behavior. However, I have my doubts.

I've been reading Dr. Laura Schlessingers' book 'The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands' as well as the new one 'The Proper Care & Feeding of Marriage'. I even have the CD to the latest one. Because my husband and I have been going through what many say is the 'marital woes', we have not been on the best of terms lately. I even invited him to listen to the CD with me so that we can both get a grasp on what is potentially the problem.

I've discussed marriage counseling, to no avail. Or at least to be truthfully honest, he didn't respond to me in the like manner that showed me that he does care about our marriage.

We've argued and scared the children in the process. I don't like arguing to be honest, but sometimes you have to air things out in order to get an understanding of what is troubling the other person.

Anyway, I am not asking for diamonds or pearls. I am not even asking to be showered in gold necklaces or Gucci purses. Just a little appreciation, like everyone likes now and again.

In reading these books I realize that we women and men are totally different in our mental patterns and emotions. However, not to different because we both want love and respect. And because my hubby and I married when I was still basically a kid (27), I think he still sees me as such. I have grown into the person I know I will be with my little quirks and opinions unlike his. I no longer think or see things totally like he does. We are different and I think for the first time he realizes really different and I believe it frightens him.

I love my hubby but I think the man I married is a little insecure and I just totally realize how insecure he is.

In the near future, I will be continuing my career and sending our children to school. He would prefer them to stay home and to be home schooled. But like many people in America today, we need two incomes to raise a family of our size.

And kids get bigger, not smaller. They need things like more clothes, shoes, makeup, and I guess junk. Not that I indulge my children in lots of other things deemed unnecessary but just the basic stuff. I teach them that they do have to earn a living and work hard at what they want to achieve in this life. Nothing is simply handed to them for good behavior or their looks. And nothing is guaranteed to them as well just because you want it. You have to work toward what you want in life, sometimes very hard to achieve what you want.

I guess you can say the same for marriage. If you want it you have to work hard at keeping it. My only trouble is, can I do it?

Friday, September 12, 2008

Life or something like that.

I started this blog because I wanted someone to talk to. Not saying that my life is lacking excitement, it has that and more! It's just that when you put your thoughts on paper (or in this case the computer screen), you begin to want to connect with other people.

For instance, when you write in your diary how many people get to see it and respond? (By the way where are those things?!!) Anywho, I love to communicate and share and I hope no one thinks that I am some morbid person obsessed with deep questions that no one really likes to talk about.

Okay, maybe I am obsessed, that's why I talk about it but there is more to life than death and dying.

Like; how many licks does it really take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop? You know I eat those all the time and I STILL don't know.

Or; why when you are watching your favorite program on TV and you are just getting into it that it is then they go to commercial?

Also; have you ever noticed that when you wash your vehicle on a sunny day instead of taking it to the car wash it will rain, but when you plant something in the ground it never rains?

How about this one; you wake up one morning to eat that big bowl of your favorite cereal that you just dreamt about and pour yourself a big bowl and then realize that there is no milk in the house to be found? ( In my case it will be soy milk because I don't do dairy products from cows anymore).

Anyone else want to give another scenario? You are more than welcome to do so.

Anyway, everyone enjoy themselves this weekend. I will be taking the weekend off and not post anything, but expect a new posting Monday.

Until then.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

The spiritual journey of human beings.

As I sit tonight I reflect upon the saying in the bible that says 'God created man in his own image'. I am in no way, shape or form to argue with what the bible says, but as I look at the world today I think this has now turned and that 'man has created God into his image'.

I say this because it seems as if everyone has a different concept what God is all about. That's fine, but what is the true image of God? Is it the homeless man on the street praying for someone to give him change to buy his next meal? Is it the family struggling to raise their children in a God fearing home living paycheck to paycheck? Or is it the immigrant coming to America hoping to feed his family on the little earnings that he will earn today in a land so new and foreign to him that he prays his family is grateful for the sacrifices that he is making for them? Do these people squabble with others that their image of God is right and that the next person who comes along with a different view of God is wrong?

Let's look at people with other religions. Some say that God can only forgive those of their faith and belief, while others who don't believe as they do will go to hell. The Jew does not believe like the Muslim believes, nor does a Christian believe like a Jew or Muslim would believe. So who's God is right? And what has happened to our spirituality? What has happened to the joy of just serving God and God alone and not trying to dictate to others what God has planned out for his/her life according to each other's belief? If your belief's are not hurting anyone and you are happy with the life you live, who is to say that you are a bad person because your belief's are different?

I personally have my own beliefs that God is an almighty being and has made all of us to serve some kind of purpose in this life. Some of us will teach others how to be compassionate to others unlike ourselves. That diversity and uniqueness in each of us is to be 'celebrated' not hated. Others will show us the true face of unselfishness, and caring for your fellow man, by showing us that generosity is more than just giving someone a helping hand. You can be generous by giving a loving touch or hug, you can say something kind to someone, or just smile at your fellow man, THAT may even just brighten someone's day! Others will show us the true face of evil, and still others will show us what it means to be human. Where does religion fit in?

The God I worship does not punish people for being themselves, especially when he has written or ordained someone to be a certain way. Yes now I know we have some people out there who do harm others and they will reap what they have sown, but guess what,? it will be done in God's time.

I am in no way attacking anyone's religion or personal beliefs, I just believe that we all have to face the fact that we are human after all. And when it comes down to it, we all need physiological factors (for example; oxygen, fluids, nutrition, shelter, sex), and also safety and security, love and belonging needs, self-esteem and self-actualization. One factor feeds the next until we come to self-actualization and realize that we are not humans having a spiritual experience, but that we are spiritual beings having a human experience.