Saturday, February 28, 2009

Bibi Now Has a New Name!

I have officially changed my URL to bibihasthelastword(dot)blogspot(dot)com.

Take a big step back and observe that nothing has changed, no facelift, no new pics, just a new name that is easier to remember and recognize.

At least I hope it is.

Hello March!

Not that it is officially March yet, but this is to mark the last day of NaBloPoMo of 2009.

I loved every moment of it. Some days I was really lost on what to write. Other days I was pouring my heart out to you all. And your responses were overwhelming. In a good way!

Very honest, kind, and supportive and I feel overwhelmed with emotion. Right now:

"My cup runneth over"

I feel very good that I finished this blog with more than 28 posts. I never thought that I would be able to do so. But you all were so very supportive and truly the motivation to me finishing my NaBloPoMo for February 2009. Two points!

I think that I will only do this NaBloPoMO every year in February. It is the shortest month and, I tell you no lies when I say this, thirty/thirty-one days is a little overwhelming! :-P

I would personally like to thank:
Brenda Susan
Charles Gramlich
Mom (from The Mind of Mom)
Donna (of Don Mills Diva)
Speedcat Hollydale
Anne Nguyen
Mr. Bill
Dee =^.^=
and Sara for all of your comments.

I would also like to thank my children for being the entertainment that keeps my life busy and for not taking life so seriously.

I'd like to thank my therapist Ms. G for being their when the times got rough.

I like to thank my professor who personally influenced at least three of my post this month.

I'd also like to thank my hubby for being the man that he is. If he wasn't, then I'd have nothing to share and then laugh about it with you all. Love you hubs!

I'd like to thank my dentist for lying to me. That drilling done on my teeth DID hurt! You have to love a doc who would lie to you with a smile. A pretty sparkling, white, straight teeth smile.

I'd also like to thank the driver following too close behind me last night when I was on my way home for shining those darn 'brights' into my eyes so that I would drive faster. I was doing 70 MPH dude! But you still passed me when the coast was clear. I hope that you got to that stop sign that you so desperately wanted to get to!

I'd also like to thank the old lady who stopped me in the grocery store last night who accused me of stealing her popcorn out of her cart. While we were standing in the snack isle right next to the chips and popcorn. Right after she put her bag of popcorn back on the shelf. A full two minutes before I even thought of buying any. Thanks for making me the center of attention in the one place I should have not even gone near since starting my diet.

*Sigh* I sooo want March to come. And soon.

Love you all,

Friday, February 27, 2009


Recently my logic professor gave me this riddle to help me understand what's really behind my LOGIC 200 class. It is called: "Egocentric Categorical Syllogism"

I am a nobody,

nobody is perfect,

therefore I am perfect.

Damn! I still don't get it!

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Again, I've Been Left Speechless!

Cyndi again has awarded me another award. I was totally left speechless when I saw that she gave me not one but two awards.

So through my cloudy mind (and blurry tears), I left a comment on her page. I don’t even remember what I wrote. I just wrote down what came to me and sent it.

Cyndi honey, if you are reading this, please forgive me if my comment made no sense at all. I had the best intentions.

Now I know how the stars feel at the Oscar’s. Yeah, I feel THAT good!

“These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award.”

This 'Love Ya' award is sweet as I am always attempting to find new friends.

The people I give this amazing award to are:

Akilah, Chris, Carma, Sheri, Lucy, Mom, Tina, and Christine. Of course I have to add four more just because I love them so: Clarity, Ashley, Leon Basin, and Brenda Susan.

Thank you all again for being such good friends to me. I feel like I am the luckiest woman alive right now!

Okay, not the luckiest, but definitely the most loved. : )

I've Been Acknowledged For Being Me!

And it feels damn great!

Cyndi has awarded me two awards.

This award acknowledges the values that every blogger shows in his/her effort to transmit cultural, ethical, literary and personal values every day.

WOW ! I am deeply humbled!

The rules to follow are:

1) Accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person that has granted the award and his or her blog link.

2) Pass the award to another 15 blogs that are worthy of this acknowledgment. Remember to contact each of them to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

So the 15 people I am awarding this to are:

Sheri, Akilah, Mom, Chris, Tina, Cyndi (Thank you for the acknowledgment in the first place), Lucy, Nilsa, Deutlich, Lilly, Stone, Carma, Brenda, Ashley, and Maxie.

Thank you ladies for bringing such joy to my life and entertaining a mom who is in need of some adult conversations.

You totally deserve it!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

A Mother's Pride and Joy

My daughter and son. He of course does not want to take the picture.

I have a fifteen yer old son. Actually I have three teenagers. But that is for another post. Like I said before there is never a dull moment in the BIBI household.

Especially with my oldest son. Two years ago he began to experience the "puberty" thing at thirteen. Last summer he began to "smell" himself and began to be get very cocky. It's all good. I got him straight, and brought him back to earth with one of my 'if the momma ain't happy, nobody is' discussions. He got the message.

Or so I thought he did.

My talk was essentially about taking care not to smell when you become of a certain age. and as you become older you have to take essential care not to offend anyone.

He wanted to argue. I told him that if he didn't clean his 'pits' that we were going to have a problem. He sulkily went to take a shower. I was happy that I won the battle with the 'child' until I went into his room and discovered a letter that he wrote to himself.

FYI: I snoop on my children in my house all the time. It's my full-time occupation. Antyway...

The letter read:
Reasons Not To Wash
  1. I was forced to as a child.
  2. People who make soap are only after your money.
  3. I wash on special occasions like Christmas and Easter.
  4. People who wash are hypocrites--they think they are cleaner than everyone else.
  5. There are so many different kinds of soap, I can't decide which one is best.
  6. I used to wash, but it got boring so I stopped.
  7. None of my friends wash.
  8. The bathroom is never warm enough in the winter or cool enough in the summer.
  9. I'll start washing when I get older and dirtier.
  10. I can't spare the time.

I don't know where he got his writing skills from, but I'm betting the comics that he reads has a lot to do with it.

I let that infraction go. He was soon not to disappoint me again.

Now don't get me wrong, my son is good in school and he loves his teachers. But someone said something to him (an adult of course) and asked him why was he passing notes in class?

It wasn't nothing that serious, just a harmless drawing, but the teacher felt the need to address my son, in front of the whole class!

He (the assistant teacher) then preceded to tell him "That if you do this again I will send you back where you came from, as you will be banished from my class."

My eloquent son told the assistant teacher:

"No you can't, my momma ain't here!"

Why oh why did I ever encourage him as baby to talk?!?

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Keep Walking

Mr. Perry wrote another letter to his fans again. Writing about his movie "Madea Goes to Jail" which was released last Friday, and his new show.

He always thanks his fans, and tell us of any upcoming movies or shows. That is so gracious and it shows what a humbling and grateful spirit that he does have.

Last week on 'The View', Tyler Perry told the story of how one woman approached him on the street shortly after he had opened his studio in Atlanta, GA. This came as no shock to him, as he is used to people approaching him on the street and asking for change. This woman however didn't want any change, she just requested a pair of shoes.

Mr. Perry goes on to say that he was a little shocked at the request, but he remembered the times that he was on the streets with only one pair of shoes. So he took her to the studio and gave her a pair of shoes. The lady graciously thanked Mr. Perry and said:

"Thank you Jesus, my feet are now off the ground."

The reason Tyler related this story was because he was feeling that same way about his success that he has achieved thus so far. He was knocked down, abused, homeless, and then God got his feet off the ground and gave him some shoes to fill and walk on the road less traveled. A road to recovery that millions of us are trying to reach but stumble upon and lose our way. Some of us have family to pick us up and give us a good swift kick in the glutes to keep walking. Others have the will and tenacity to keep going all on our own. That gumption to keep walking takes a lot of strength and willpower, whatever your circumstance.

I would like now to take the opportunity to share this letter with you all:

Number one again! WOW! I’m too full to write. All I can say is THANK YOU! I couldn’t let this day go by without saying thank you. What I know for sure is that you all are with me, and that makes me feel good. When I think about how close I came to giving up, that makes me feel good. When I think about all the hell I went through to get here, that makes me feel good. When I think about all the people who told me I wasn’t going to be anything, that makes me feel good. To know that you all are standing shoulder to shoulder with me--God, that makes me feel good. There is a simple scripture in the Bible that I think about often, and it says when you have favor with God then you have favor with man. So thank you for being a part of my favor. I hope somebody is paying attention to this. Not the number one movie, not the TV shows, not the studio, but simply paying attention to the fact that all things are possible to them that will believe. No matter what is going on in your life. No matter what you’re faced with. ONLY BELIEVE! Believe for the best outcome and that’s what you will receive. Tyler Perry

I am grateful to have been given my shoes from my Grandmother. She is my inspiration to keep walking.

How about you? Anyone you want to thank for getting you up and walking?

Monday, February 23, 2009

BIbi Gets a New Name

I'm already know as Bibi of BIBI HAS THE LAST WORD. However, my URL reads differently at unnrestedsoul (dot) blogspot (dot) com. It's a bit difficult to try to tell people to find you at your home page when the URL and title don't match.

I'm going to do this switch after February's NaBloPoMo for 2009 is over. No new blog facelift. No new colors. Just a new perspective on the whole blog thing.

So I am going to switch my URL to bibihasthelastword(dot)blogspot(dot)com. I'm making it easier for others to find me. And also easier for me to remember.

I'm not checking out, just changing my name.

Come and Get Your Slumdog On!

Okay, those of you who have seen the Oscar's last night, kudos! Wasn't it great?!?

Touching when Heath's family accepted his award last night. I cried.

Touching when Kate (my girl) won the best actress award. I cried.

Hugh Jackman (my husband innocent crush) was the man of the hour with a magnificent performance hosting the Oscar's. Some may laugh at that silly dance number that he performed with Beyonce, but I say he is still adorable. All 6' 1" of him! It's obvious that I have a big thing for Aussie men, as I am so obviously bias. Oh well!

Biggest surprise of the night, Sean Penn winnning for the portrayal of Harvey Milk. He was excellent in the movie as well. By the way, to quote Robert Deniro, 'how did he get away with playing straight men all these years?' He was very convincing. And deserved the Oscar win. Even though I was convinced that my Mickey would take it home. :(

Antyway, Slumdog Millionaire won all but one of their Oscar's that they were nominated for last night bringing their total to eight. Including the Oscar for best picture. Wonderful, and anyone interested in other people's culture beside their own should see it. It makes you appreciate being an American all the more.

Penelope Cruz looked beautiful accepting her award in her beautiful but very old gown. The gown was made by a designer whose name escapes me right now, but the gown is 60 years old! It was obviously beautifully perserved. Get this: Penelope saw it eight years ago, and said to herself that she 'has got to have it', but failed to buy it at the time. She then went back to the shop just this month and the gown was still there. Can you believe it?!? It was striking and she wore it well. Even though she stole the award from my Viola Davis. :(

Well, out of my six picks only four of my bets won.

1. Heath Ledger for Best Supporting Actor.
2. Danny Boyle for Best Director.
3. Kate Winslet for Best Actress in a leading role.
4. Slumdog Millionaire for Best Picture of the year.

I did okay in my predictions, but hopefully I'll do better next year!

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Celebrate Heart Month

February is not only celebrating Black History month, Valentine's Day, and President's Day, but it is also National Heart month.

Lots of women put on their red dresses to celebrate this month. I don't own a red dress, but I do have a red dress pin. Two points!

Antyway, out of all the holidays celebrated this month I believe that National Heart month is a very noble cause to recognize. Especially for women everywhere.

I never knew that heart disease was so prevalent among the females until I began taking my nursing classes. The statistics is unbelievable, and heart rendering! (no pun intended)

With all the women folk in my house we have to keep a look out for our ticker because of our genes. Just for the record, we do support Woman's Heart Health. Now if only we can find the red dresses to go with the occasion.

I wonder if any of the women at the Oscars thought to wear one?

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Wanna Bet?!?

Those of you who are ready for the 81st annual Academy Awards being shown on ABC know that it is on tomorrow night. As well as the Barbara Walters Special before the big show. Love watching Barbara, and will of course watch that as well. Of course I have my favorites among the actors, actresses and directors, and I am betting that the following will win:

BEST PICTURE: Slumdog Millionaire
I heard so many good reviews about this movie and I am looking forward to seeing it this weekend. I sure hope it wins.

LEAD ACTOR: Mickey Rourke, "The Wrestler"
Haven't seen the movie but I love Mickey and the idea of the comeback kid making it big in Hollywood after so many years on hiatus is a true tearjerker.

LEAD ACTRESS: Kate Winslet, "The Reader"
The whole idea of a woman getting her groove on with a young man is pretty creepy, but it is art imitating life. Unless the young man is a minor. But I do believe this is Kate's' year to win!

SUPPORTING ACTOR: Heath Ledger, "The Dark Knight"
Even though my heart was leaning toward Robert Downey Jr. for "Tropic Thunder", I am rooting for Heath. Love Aussie men, and he deserves it. Any arguments?

SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Viola Davis, "Doubt"
I saw Viola Davis' performance in "Doubt" and was floored. She is truly remarkable in her role, and has come a long way. Go Viola!

BEST DIRECTOR: Danny Boyle, "Slumdog Millionaire"
My first choice for best director this year was originally Ron Howard for "Frost/Nixon" as I love 'ole Opie. But this is Danny Boyle first directional debut and sometimes those who first direct a big blockbuster do win. However; and I may be contradicting myself when I say this, I really think Ron Howard will win the award. But I am sticking with Danny Boyle.

So there you all have it! These are my predictions, and I am sticking with them. Anyone in for a bet? Can't bet money, but I can bet you I'll do a comment of each and every post on your blog for one whole month!

Are you in?

Friday, February 20, 2009

The Key to Longevity

Have we really found the fountain of youth? The secret to living longer? It’s no myth according to some analysts, and it’s called “The Blue Zone”. These are the areas in which scientist say the people who live here, live longer.

The segment featured Costa Rica, but also mentioned Okinawa Japan, a small unrecognizable town in California, and two other cities which I missed the name to. I watched the segment this morning on the Today show.

Studies done have indicated that those in “The Blue Zone” have lived longer due to:

a) Genetics. (Mine are not too bad. We could eliminate some of the ‘fat’ genes though.)

b) No smoking. (Okay I sneak a little ciggy here and there now and again.)

c) Diet. (Working on it!)

d) Zest for life. (My motto is: smile while you’re making it, laugh while you’re taking it, even though you’re faking it, nobody’s gonna know!)

e) Religion. (Since I think about religion as much as getting a tooth pulled I rarely go into long discussions about it. But I believe that having faith in something bigger than you (e.g. a higher power) can have some health benefits. It’s called faith. Some do prayer. I just thank God that when he sees me on the caller ID he doesn’t hang up because he does answer some of my prayers.)

Okay genetics is a biggie. We totally don’t know what is in store for us if you have no idea about your families’ history. Family-wise my gene pool has high-blood pressure, bad breath (not that I have any), diabetes, sarcasm, cussing, cancer, yakking too much about nothing syndrome, incontinence, heart disease, ADHD, and too much girth in the middle that just stays with you. Hmmm… according to this I should be keeling over at any minute, or at least in the hospital with a diaper on and a constant supply of breath mints.

Smoking. To smoke or not to smoke? It is ever debatable in my family since 1 out of every 3rd person in my family does smoke. I only smoke occasionally (two ciggy’s a week) but according to this research you shouldn’t have none. Okay, *inhaling ciggy* let me know when you are finished *exhaling* reading this *blowing smoke circles* story.

Diet. Okay they emphasize that fresh is best. Fresh veggies, and fresh fruit. Living virtually as vegetarians/vegans. Shucks. That counts me out. I love a turkey ham sandwich with some mayo, mustard, on double fiber bread. Health nut? Not really. But I try to watch what I eat. (Trying is only half the battle)

Zest for life. Okay, some say that laughter is the best medicine. One thing remarkable about the people interviewed in Costa Rica, was the fact that they have never been to a hospital, never been sick and that they had genuine laughter behind that twinkle in their eye. That twinkle in their eye was put there with some help. They are not THAT happy with life. Perhaps they like what is happening between those sheets at night with their significant other. According to Akilah they are still enjoying the humping, even though it is somewhat dry now, well past the age when many think it is inconceivable to do such. Woohoo grandma, get your groove on!

Religion. Okay this is a tough one, but virtually whoever you are praying to is obviously looking out for you because you are doing alright so far. I hope.

This research is purely based on the fact that they kept records of these individuals and realized that a fifty year old man has a greater chance of making 90 than a man residing in the U.S.

So if you and the significant other want to keep the longevity in your life, you might want to consider moving to one of these ‘Blue Zones’ and keep the zesty, happy, free of bad genetics, fresh diet, with lots of prayer life that you are used to. If you don’t keel over when having sex at 120 and your partner is two months shy of 125.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

I've Been Dreaming

I usually don’t dream but last night I did. If I do dream it is because I’ve slept too much or I tossed and turned all night. I’m hoping it’s the former and not the latter or I’m going to be more tired then a drunken monkey.

I dreamt about Madea. For those of you who don’t know Madea, she is the creation of Tyler Perry who has the shows on TBS called ‘House of Payne’ and ‘Meet the Browns’. He has also made quite a few movies like ‘Diary of a Mad Black Woman’ starring Shemar Moore and Kimberly Elise; and the ‘Family That Preys’ with Alfre Woodard and Kathy Bates.

I love the character Madea. She is loud, boisterous, funny, and downright lovable. It’s a plus that ‘she’ is played by a ‘he’, but that’s okay. I’m no hater. I love people of all shapes, sizes, color, height, breed, and whatever you have between you legs; makes me no never mind. The only person that I tease about their height is my SIL who I’ve told to write a letter of complaint to the town mayor for building the sidewalk too close to her ass. It’s all in fun.

Now I realize that Mr. Tyler has been receiving some criticism from people for wearing the dress and portraying a woman. But hell, he is a success and people worldwide love his Madea! She’s the grandma everyone needs or wants. However my Grandmother is never as boisterous as Madea, but she gets her point across just fine. Plus, I love a man who is comfortable wearing a dress and not afraid to laugh at himself in public. Now back to my dream.

Well, me the hubby and my son were outside this woman’s house just sweep her yard. The yard was full of leaves and we were using brooms. WTF? But it’s a dream. Let me continue. So we finish sweeping and piling the leaves in piles, but we don’t put them into any bags.

I began to help the hubs without even knowing why or what we were doing there at some random stranger’s house. He knew though and insisted that I help. So that’s what I was doing when he said that we should stop and go to the old lady and tell her we were done. Done? “I thought we were to put them in bags?” I shouted at him. Strange, even in my dream I still show my irritation to the hubby.

Anyskittle, we go up these horrendous flights of stairs that go on forever. I mean it was like the sky was the limit. As we climbed up the stairs we stopped and looked at a kite that was aimlessly flying in the wind. No kid holding it on the other end, just floating in the sky without a thought or care. We continued our trek. We come to the ladies door and I knock.

I hear this shrill “Who is it?” I back away. The hubby then opens the door a smidgen and shouts in the crack “It’s me!”

“Who the hell is ‘ME’?” she says. The hubby stands back and looks at me. He has a slight grin on his face but proceeds to say “Umm, we were out sweeping your leaves.”

“Oh is that you? Come on in. Why didn’t you say so?” Madea then opens the door big as life. She has on a turquoise dress with little white flowers. I just stare at her as she is standing there smiling. I don’t move. The hubby and son go in and look back at me like I’ve lost my head.

"Your, your, your Madea!" I stutter.

“Yeah, won’t you come on in? I’ve just made some food for you’ll to eat. Ya hungry?”

I finally nod my head and walk inside. Her house has lots of trinkets and lots of little statues around. Comfy in a sort of maternal kind of way.

“Have a seat.” She leads us to her dining room and we sit down. She brings out all this food like a rotisserie chicken, sweet yams, collard greens, corn on the cob, biscuits, and dinner mints. Can you tell that I went to bed hungry?

Anyskittle, we laugh and Madea told more jokes than I ever heard. The details are kind of fuzzy because this is the time when the hubby began to shift around the bed and blow his fog horn in my ear. Let’s just say if you do decide to visit Madea, I’m quite sure she’ll be a gracious host. Just invite me to come along.

Or better yet, meet me at the theater when you go to see ‘Madea Goes to Jail’. It’s this Friday. Let’s make it a date!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

And the Oscar Goes to...

Heath Ledger, was a remarkable actor. Just recently (two weeks ago) I saw 'Dark Knight.' He was superb, and I hope he does win.

It wasn't until I saw Heath in '10 Things I hate About You' that I really began to dig Aussie guys. (See my label on 'Hugh Jackman') Of course, I never had the chance to meet or date one, but a girl can dream can't she?!? :^)

If he does win, his daughter Matilda, with whom he had with Michelle Williams is only three and will bring home the trophy for her dad. If only she can sign a contract. Read the complete article.

Now, I believe that a three year old can sign their name because kids are being taught earlier in life these days, but to put such a stipulation on such a child who has just lost her father is downright sad.

I hope the Academy's President comes up with a better solution for any 2 year old ready to pick up his/her trophy in the coming future.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Choosing to Exhale


What attracts people to their mates? It’s a question that has been lingering in my head since the news of the Rhianna and Chris Brown fiasco. I feel compelled to respond now because I witnessed many abusive situations in my time.

At no time do I feel compelled to defend a man who hits on a woman, nor can I readily forgive them. I do realize that there are two sides to every story, so I try not to be so quick in my judgments. However, I feel compelled to answer the call to abused women everywhere.

As a little girl, I witnessed the most horrific abuse that a woman can endure. My father beat my mother. Since I was the oldest of eight I was a witness to a lot of physical abuse.

The man, who calls himself my father, beat on my mom while she was pregnant with child number five. It was not uncommon, and I grew up with this kind of abuse. However; this one sticks out in my memory so vividly. I remember getting ready because my mom was about to take us all out to Central Park for an outing. She told him that she was tired of him and his nonsense and would soon leave. He of course, threw a fit. That’s when I seen him punch my mom in the face.

She went down like a boxer being KO’d in the ring. With her dress ballooning around her as she fell in front of her dresser, I soon knew what I had to do. Grabbing my two little sisters and little brother I quickly took them by the hand and led them downstairs until the fighting died down.

I was eight at the time, and my reactions were quick. Grabbing sister A (age 7) and brother T (age 6) by one hand, and grabbing sister N (age 3) in the other hand I half dragged, half pulled them down the stairs until the beating subsided.

As I stood in the big picture window overlooking our front yard, I prayed that someone could hear my mother screaming, and would come and rescue us. I watched as one man walked by the window stopped in front of our house, turned and looked at the sobbing children in the window and shook his head.

My brother and sisters were crying, especially sister N who wanted my mom, but was too frightened to go upstairs. I was the only one who stood without tears, having seen and heard it all before. At eight I knew how to suppress my feelings and not let it be known that I was hurting for my mom and that I wanted my father dead. The guilt I felt at wanting someone I love dead, confused me to no end. I have a hard time looking him in the face to this day.

The sound of my own blood rushing in my ears grew louder as the screaming wouldn’t stop. The sound of dressers falling and tables being overturned echoed in my head as my father threw furniture around. I imagined my mother shielding her belly with one arm and trying to ward of her attacker with the other. I silently said to myself “stop, stop, stop”, but my whispers fell on deaf ears, as no one would listen.

I walked the siblings to the door as if to take them outside. By now they were shivering, and couldn’t control their chattering teeth. Soon as I made the decision to take them outside, the screaming stopped. My heart raced a little as I wanted to know if my mom was okay. I stood at the bottom of the staircase listening, waiting, and soon realized that I couldn’t breathe because I was holding my breath. Exhaling loudly, my head jerked up when I heard my father shout at me to come upstairs. Looking up at him standing at the top of the stairs my scowl spoke otherwise, and I stared him down as if to contest him. He walked away and went into the bathroom.

I wanted to go upstairs to see how my mom was doing, but looking back at my sibs who snuck up behind me, I thought it was best not to otherwise. I could hear her whimpering and crying, but was conflicted on what to do. I stayed downstairs with my little brother and sisters and we huddled on the window seat in the picture window until the “attacker” left.

He was mumbling how he would kill my mother, and she better listen to him next time or else. I still remember looking at him with such disgust, and how he stared me down as if to say ‘go ahead try it.’ He won, and I knew when to back off when the odds were not in my favor.

In reflection, I look back at those times and wonder what would I have done if my parents owned a gun and I found it? Would I have been one of those children that you see on the news who tell their story over and over again to the media who wants to know what happened? Only to be lost in the system years later and on one of those “Where Are They Now” shows?

Now that the hubby and I are faced with our own crisis but working on it, I now empathize with the women who have to wake up everyday and move on with life after being assaulted in such a fashion. I constantly ask my mom why she endured such abuse for 21 years. To that she has no answer.

I’m not holding my breath for an answer either, because she is trying to move on with her life after being divorced from my father for 15 years now. This is the moment when I exhale, and I then realize that I have been holding my breath in anticipation that I am missing something in life. Something like moving on from the pain and realizing that no one will make my life better, only me.

In retrospect, with all that has happened to me in my childhood, I have decided to try to be very careful in my selection of mates. I’ve failed in some aspects, but in others I have dutifully have tried to correct my mistakes and have no regrets in my decision making. Only vow to learn from them.

To err is human, to forgive is divine. I’m still working on the forgiving part.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Me, Myself, and I

Okay last week I visited clever girl goes blog and I decided to play the letter game. I did this once with mom some posts ago, but I had the letter G. These kind of tags are always fun.

Tia gave me the letter 'I', which I will now dutifully play. I am suppose to list ten things about the letter 'I'. Here goes:

Ice Cream

What can I say? I love the cold stuff that can give you brain freeze when you eat it too fast. This may be why I have some poundage to lose, but ah well. Nonetheless, be it vanilla, chocolate, fudge swirl, strawberry, or rocky road (my fave), I’ll eat it. Ice cream gotta sell, big girls gotta eat. It’s a never ending cycle.


Love Bollywood. Have the movies ‘City of Joy’, ‘Monsoon Wedding’, and ‘A Passage to India’. Haven’t seen Gandhi in a looong time. Have yet to see ‘Slumdog Millionaire’. And I’d love to visit India one day. Perhaps I’ll see Shah Ru Khan (say that three times fast) shake his groove thing Indian style. Some say since we have Indian cuisine and Deepak Chopra, you don’t need India. I beg to differ; I like the real thing!


When I was a little girl I once dreamed that I would runaway and be adopted by an Eskimo family and live in an Igloo. Then I grew up. I still dream that one day I’ll build an igloo with my children and that we’ll spend the night in it. A girl can still dream right?


Lovely flower. Very calm looking and pleasant to the eye. I always admired them but never had the gumption to plant any. But this year it will be different. Instead of ornamental grass and weeds in my flower beds, I’ll plant some irises along with some other flowers as well.

Iced Mocha Joe

Love the drink, and I usually have one on some mornings when I am running errands early in the morning. There is however only one fast food restaurant where I get them from who can make it my way.


Don’t own one, wouldn’t mind having one though. Tia talks about the iPhone so much I think I just might try and get one. Perhaps I’ll learn what the Apps REALLY is.


An Egyptian Goddess of fertility, also known as a winged goddess who represented all that was visible, birth, growth, development and vigor. The ancient Egyptians saw Isis as a benevolent goddess, good and kind. Each pharaoh born was regarded as her son, and Isis loved all creatures like a mother. She was the chaste and devoted wife and as a result most highly regarded among the Egyptian gods. Not that I am into that kind of thing but she is female and the maternity feeling had to come from somewhere, right? Plus the name sounds cool.

I am Sam

Okay, shoot me, not technically an “I” word but it does start with “I” though. Loved the movie, and Sean Penn was excellent as the lead character. Dakota Fanning was great as well. This movie was such a positive reflection of those who are handicapped in our society and how they can, despite their limitations, can hold their own. They are real people, and unlike the rest of the world they are the most compassionate people I know. My aunt has Down syndrome and was born in the 60’s, back in the day when they were called Mongoloids, and they were not expected to live long. The docs in NYC said she wouldn’t live to see eight years old. My aunt is now 44 years old and physically active. She cooks, cleans, washes clothes, walks three miles every other day, and to relax she colors in her coloring books. She is obviously my favorite aunty.


Active, very active and wild. I can convince myself that the bogeyman is in my room and I will crawl in one of my childrens bed (which by the way annoys them). Or with my imagination I can make the bogeyman go away. Either way, I’m quirky and active imaginations feed off of that kind of stuff. The only downside is when I am in the PMS mood; my imagination won’t make the annoying people go away.

“I Hate This Part”

A hit song off of the Pussycat Dolls latest CD, ‘Doll Domination’. Okay my imagination is not working for me right now and this is the only thing that I can think of. Love the song, and the Pussycat Dolls are obviously the inspiration behind my drive to losing weight. And when I do lose the weight, I will definitely get the pole. Hey, it’s for exercising people!

I hope that I gave the letter ‘I’ some justice. Okay, Tia that letter was hard, but thank goodness it wasn’t Q, X, or Z. Whew! My head hurts just thinking about the imagination one would have to have to write about either of those letters.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

We Are All Creatures of Habit

I habitually watch television, blog, daydream about being a famous writer, drink a gallon of water a day, and dream about being 60 pounds thinner. I am also a creature of stranger habits, but this blog page is way too short to list all of the *ahem* details.

However, I do know I have a habit of doing other things as well. I:

-Tell the hubby that we have less in our joint account after I deposit HIS checks so that I can buy something that I really want, but not necessarily need.

-Tell the children that if they don't eat all of their okra at dinner, that they'll have nightmares.

-Always tell my loving but habitually curious Grandmother that everything is okay, when it's sometimes not. (It's for her own good, she doesn't need to worry!)

-Convince myself that writing in my journal every night can be cathartic (Oprah's definition) and can possibly be a good story when that journal is finished. (I have yet to fill up one journal since 2003.)

-Tell myself that one day the hubby will figure out that the laundry hampers are colored coded for a reason and that he will stop sticking to be bleached clothes and not-to-be-bleached clothes in the same basket. He is definitely a work in progress.

-Tell the children that if they don't do their chores that they will lose their TV privileges. (LOL, that one even sounds funny to my ears!)

-Tell myself that one day I'll just answer the 'unknown' numbers that keep showing up on my caller ID with: "Hello, welcome to Wendy's."

-Constantly tell myself that reading a book into the wee hours of the morning and then getting up at 6 AM to get the kids ready for school is really something not good for the irrational and impatient. (Until then I'll cuss and mumble into I get my 'fix' of my daily must read blogs.)

-Tell myself that not everyone is perfect and that I need to stop being so hard on myself.

Some say that honesty is the best policy ya know!

But until then, honesty can stay the hell under the bed until I am ready to face her!

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Happy Heart Day!

Presently, I am in the mood to watch a good movie. A good romantic comedy/romantic drama. You know a chick flick! Something that will make me laugh and do the ugly cry at the same time. With it being Valentine’s day and the hubby at work until 9PM, I think it only appropriate that I watch a good movie.

The choices are limitless. Lifetime of course has many romantic movies showing today, but they are not what I want now. You have to be in the mood to watch Lifetime, and what I really want is something on DVD.

How about?:

West Side Story

Racial tension in the streets of NYC. Romance between man and woman on different sides. Guys with tight pants that are just a wee bit high. Girls with Brooklyn/Puerto Rican Accents who can’t sing. The most touching scene is when Maria holds Tony in her arms while he lies dying. That is cinema at its best in 1961.

Ever After

Indeed the best Cinderella story ever made! Drew Barrymore and Angelica Huston were the best in the movie, and the other characters made the movie as well. Action, laughter, tears, and the very familiar story of Cinderella winning the Prince in a storytelling way that made my children believe that the story was true.

Notting Hill

Julia Roberts & Hugh Grant, what a duo! Actually the whole rich girl, poor boy –or- famous girl, successful bookstore owner made the tale of star-crossed lovers very believable and I fell in love with the movie. Not enough to list it as my favorite, but close enough. For added comic effect they put the dingy, filthy but lovable flat mate of Hugh’s whose presence the audience needed when the movie got too heavy.


Made movie history and I went to go see it three times! This is the first performance of Kate Winslet that I had ever seen and of course I fell in love with her. Just a girl crush mind you, nothing serious. Leo was excellent and of course with the rest of the world I was bummed when he didn’t get nominated for the Oscar. However, the movie will live forever in my heart as timeless, and it was money well spent. Just the right amount of drama to make the romance believable and for years I thought that Jack and Rose were truly real passengers on the Titanic.


Nothing that Kiera Knightley does is small. The romantic drama was a little over the top but made me appreciate the life that I do have with hubby and not to trust anyone to mess with that. Great storyline and I felt so sorry for the lovers.


I love John Cusack, and he was also in Say Anything, one of my faves as a teen. Kate Beckinsdale is not to bad either. I love movies with lovers wanting to be together but can’t for some reason or another. The whole fact that they reconnected after 10 years separated with a book holding the final say so, on whether they will get together made me weepy. A great one for the box of Kleenex on the coffee table.

Runaway Bride

Julia Roberts again with Richard Gere since their movie ‘Pretty Woman’. They make one of the most pleasant couples on the screen right next to Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock. Lots of laughs, just the right amount of romance to make the movie enjoyable. Plus, one of my favorites as well.

Pride and Prejudice

So many remakes of the classic story by Jane Austen but the movie starring Kiera Knightley was absolutely the best. You know wealth and status was such a determining factor in a woman’s amounts of proposals in those days.

Sense and Sensibility

Another with Kate Winslet and the movie was excellent as well. This is one for under the covers with the shades pulled down and lots of candy sprinkled around you, with the box of tissues nearby. Emma Thompson is a great actress as well and pulls it off real well. Especially at the end when she begins to cry at her marriage proposal by Hugh Grant. Such a chic flick!

Much Ado about Nothing

And last but not least, one of my favorites. Lover’s quarrels, innocent girls turning into women, accusation, sex, and jilted brides set in 1640 Italy. Sounds like an episode on a soap. However; I LOVE this movie and Shakespeare is of course the greatest romantic writer known this world over. Enough said.

Well, with so many choices you would think that I had my full of movies to at least get into the holiday spirit. But NOOOO!

Had hair duty (3 heads total), bubble baths, cookie making, spaghetti and meatballs dinner’ cause of course it is a holiday, laundry (6 loads), homework, and kitchen cabinets to straighten.

The only thing that came close to anything romantic on TV today was whether Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana could make up her mind to plant a big one on the handsome admirer or tell him that she was Hannah Montana.

And how did you celebrate heart day?!?

Friday, February 13, 2009

There Are Pheromones In the Air

In retrospect, February is the LOVE month. I am not in too much of a mushy mood. Yes, to receive a valentine would be nice, but I can’t write about love. I’ve tried and failed miserably.

Not to say that my children don’t enjoy it. Heck they had valentine parties in school today and came home with so much junk. Awww well, at least they are enjoying the holiday.

Some researchers are now saying that the attraction is now societal or biological, not logical. So does that mean that logically we don’t choose our mate properly but by societal judgment? Or is the biological part the physical attraction or the way we see our future mother/father to our children.

So is the chemical attraction for real or just something to keep researchers busy with money from the government to do bogus science experiments? Read this article to find out what USA today has time to write, wasting the readers time and 75 cents.

Coming tomorrow: the Anti-Valentine article.: ^)