Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Do you have marital woes too?

If you haven't guessed it already I am married. For nine years I've been indulged in a lifestyle many perpetrate as a social standard of living to the utmost of morally sociable and civilized behavior. However, I have my doubts.

I've been reading Dr. Laura Schlessingers' book 'The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands' as well as the new one 'The Proper Care & Feeding of Marriage'. I even have the CD to the latest one. Because my husband and I have been going through what many say is the 'marital woes', we have not been on the best of terms lately. I even invited him to listen to the CD with me so that we can both get a grasp on what is potentially the problem.

I've discussed marriage counseling, to no avail. Or at least to be truthfully honest, he didn't respond to me in the like manner that showed me that he does care about our marriage.

We've argued and scared the children in the process. I don't like arguing to be honest, but sometimes you have to air things out in order to get an understanding of what is troubling the other person.

Anyway, I am not asking for diamonds or pearls. I am not even asking to be showered in gold necklaces or Gucci purses. Just a little appreciation, like everyone likes now and again.

In reading these books I realize that we women and men are totally different in our mental patterns and emotions. However, not to different because we both want love and respect. And because my hubby and I married when I was still basically a kid (27), I think he still sees me as such. I have grown into the person I know I will be with my little quirks and opinions unlike his. I no longer think or see things totally like he does. We are different and I think for the first time he realizes really different and I believe it frightens him.

I love my hubby but I think the man I married is a little insecure and I just totally realize how insecure he is.

In the near future, I will be continuing my career and sending our children to school. He would prefer them to stay home and to be home schooled. But like many people in America today, we need two incomes to raise a family of our size.

And kids get bigger, not smaller. They need things like more clothes, shoes, makeup, and I guess junk. Not that I indulge my children in lots of other things deemed unnecessary but just the basic stuff. I teach them that they do have to earn a living and work hard at what they want to achieve in this life. Nothing is simply handed to them for good behavior or their looks. And nothing is guaranteed to them as well just because you want it. You have to work toward what you want in life, sometimes very hard to achieve what you want.

I guess you can say the same for marriage. If you want it you have to work hard at keeping it. My only trouble is, can I do it?

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