Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Dear Mr. Hugh Jackman...

Today I read that people magazine voted you the ‘Sexiest Man Alive’ this year. I beg to differ. I do however think that you are intelligent, a great singer, a good family man, a wonderful actor, a good humanitarian, and a person who does appreciate his fans.

But the 'Sexiest Man Alive' title belongs to my hubby of 9 years. He comes home after working a long sometimes 6 hour day ready to go to bed. He neither smiles nor says hello, but does manage to grunt. I think it is his sexy way of saying “Hello dollface, I missed you all day. Can’t wait to get you into bed tonight”. What a hunk!!!

Before taking a shower he throws his sweaty, dirty clothes on the newly waxed bedroom floor that took me two hours to do because my little one decided to bring Barbie and her entourage into my room, and it took me four attempts to remove her from the premises. I think it is his sexy way of saying “Honey, these dirty clothes will make you happy. You can finally fill that last load you were so desperately waiting to do”. Bless his heart!!!

Before we settle down for the night he watches TV with me and eats pretzels, slurps Pepsi, burps, farts and channel surfs complaining of ‘there’s never any good action-packed, gun fight movie on’. I think it is his sexy way of saying “Watch this babe, I’ll find a romantic movie for us both to watch so that we can cuddle up together, and wipe each others tears”. Sigh, what a romantic!!!

During the night, he snores so loudly that he sometimes wakens himself. I gave him breathe right strips the other night but he came up with this helpful suggestion; he said that if I give him my 3 fluffy pillows perhaps he can angle his head just right and then maybe his vocal cords inside his throat will not vibrate so much when he breathes. I think it is his sexy way of saying “If the game warden comes knocking on the door for the bear that he thinks is inside this house tell him to go out back and get those pesky possums that live in our shed that you bugged me for forever to get rid of”. What a hero!!!

On the weekends that he does have off from work, he kicks the children out of the family room and settles in front of the TV, turns to any sports game that catches his fancy and is surrounded by all of his favorite junk food. I spend hours making him his favorite foods and he sits in his lazy-boy chair all weekend long. I think it is his sexy way of saying “Come spend some quality time with me. It’s just you and me babe. I’m all yours!” How thoughtful!!!

So you see Mr. Hugh Jackman, People magazine gave you the wrong title. It belongs to my considerate, hunky, romantic, thoughtful sexy hero who always thinks of me whenever he is at home. I love that man and he knows I’ll always be at his side laughing with him and not at him.

A devoted fan,


kikibibi said...

You are too funny! At first, I thought this was one of those gushy "my husband is so perfect" posts, but then I realized your irony. Great stuff!!

Linked over here because of your name.... Bibi. I'm kikibibi!

*Akilah Sakai* said...

Oh my goodness this was just adorable, clever and funny!

I loved it!