Thursday, January 29, 2009


I’ve had this ‘memo on life’ note for a long time from a good friend of mine. I thought it only proper to share this note today with all the women who read my blog to celebrate the momentous occasion of our President signing the first Bill today in the White House on equal pay for women. Its called the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act and I feel that such a joyous affair should be celebrated with a letter praising all of us fine women what a great species we are when we DO stick together. Even if the men in our life don’t agree.

A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day, drinking iced tea and visiting with her mother. As they talked about life, about marriage, about the responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance upon her daughter.

“Don’t forget your Sisters,” she advised, swirling the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass. “They’ll be more important as you get older. No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you love the children you may have, you are still going to need Sisters. Remember to go places with them now and then; do things with them; keep in touch by mail. And remember that “Sisters” also means your girlfriends, your daughters, and other women relatives too. You’ll need other women. Women always do.”

“What a funny piece of advice!” the young woman thought. Haven’t I just gotten married? Haven’t I just joined the couple-world? I’m now a married woman, for goodness sake! A grownup. Surely, my husband and the family we may start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile!

Nevertheless, she listened to her mother. She kept contact with her Sisters and made more women friends each year. As the years tumbled by, one after another, she gradually came to understand that her Mom really knew what she was talking about. As time and nature work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman, Sisters are the mainstays of her life. Almost 60 years of living in this world, here is what I’ve learned:

Time passes.

Life happens.

Distance separates. Children grow up.

Love waxes and wanes.

Hearts break.

Cheers end.

Jobs come and go.

Parents die.

Colleagues forget favors.

Men don’t call when they say they will?

BUT Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you. A Sister is never farther away than needing her can reach.

When you have to walk that lonesome valley, and you have to walk it for yourself, you Sisters will be on the valley’s rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley’s end. Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk besides you. Or come in and carry you out.

My mother, mother-in-law, daughter, daughter-in-law, sister, aunts, grandmothers, and “girlfriends” do bless my life! The world wouldn’t be the same without them, and neither would I.

When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other. Everyday we need each other still. Pass this on to the women who help make your life work.

I just did.


Kylie said...

Back at ya sister! I love this 'note' for all us women. I had read it before but, it's a pleasure to read every time I see it. Sometimes we forget to cherish the Sisters we have in life!!

Happy "almost" TGIF!!

Brenda Susan said...

Wow Bibi, that is wonderful! Oh and don't get freaked because I commented a mere 13 minutes after you posted this! That always shocks me when that happens, it feels like someone was watching me upload it! Ha!
Seriously though, this was a beautiful peice, thanx for passing it on!

Christine said...

good advice, Bibi. Sometimes the men don't get it the same way.

*Akilah Sakai* said...


And that's why I'm happy as a pig in shit that I was born a female.

The Mind of a Mom said...

Okay that is not my sister at all. My sister is mean, vicious and if I was lieing in the middle of the street she would freak out because I was blocking her way then she would kick me to the crub to get me out of her way. She would never every lend me a hand to get up. It has been years since I talked to my sister and I am sure it will be many more before or if I ever do again.

Sheri said...

Aww that is a very nice post. :)

Oh, P.S. - Tag you're it!

BIBI said...

I am so glad that you all enjoyed that post!

Kylie- Back at you sista!

Brenda Susan- you're welcome, and I'm glad you enjoyed it. (You're a pretty fast reader though) ;)

Christine- No sometimes the 'men' don't get it, but that's okay. We females do have our own language.

Akilah- My daughter (16 year old Tia)just said today that she is glad to be born female too! Otherwise she'd be really confused for the rest of her life. ;-P

Mom- I am so sad that you have such a shitty sister. Perhaps you might want to adopt me as your sister. ;-D No, seriously!

Sheri- I'm glad you liked it. And you love to tag and I love you for it as well. :)

*Akilah Sakai* said...

Mind of a Mom,

Sorry. I know you mentioned that on my bog once. That just sucks but I don't think because someone is your blood, that they are automatically going to be the bestest friend eva' and always there for you. Some people have no choice and their "family" consists of very close friends.

Chris said...

That's a really beautiful post. I'm so glad you shared it.

I don't know about anyone else, but so few sisters have come my way, that I cherish each of the very few real ones I have. I don't mean real by blood. I mean real as in true. A true sister for life is rare and to be treasured.

The Mind of a Mom said...

Hey Bibi

I would so love to adopt you as my sister, I think we would laugh our butts off, get into sister mischief and just have a blast being able to chit-chat and share!
And could you imagine how we could trash all those
bee-otches out there that get us upset!

To my new sister :o)

BIBI said...

Hey Mom,

I am officially your YOUNGER sister as of today. ;)

I am tired of being the oldest! ;D