Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Till Death Do Us Apart

Scenario: It is 4:34 PM in the afternoon and 75 degrees in the middle of February. A husband and wife are enjoying the balmy weather and the fact that the children are outside. Hubby is reading the Richmond Times Dispatch and the wife is reading the latest gossip magazine grabbed off of the shelf in the local super center. The children are enjoying the weather, screaming, laughing, and playing; unaware that there is a tornado watch warning in effect and that their parents are trying to tune them out.

Wife: “You know that octuplet mom does look like Angelina Jolie.”

Hubby: “You don’t say.”

Wife: “Michele Obama is one classy lady. I hope to one day inherit her sense of style.”

Hubby: “Nice, very nice.”

Wife putting down magazine and looking out of the window: “Why is Tamara screaming like that? Gosh she can be so melodramatic!”

Hubby: “Hmmm…”

Wife turning to hubby: “What would you do if I pierced my tongue?”

Hubby: “Nothin’. “

Wife: “How about my nipple?”

Hubby: “Don’t care.”

Wife: “Want to adopt a baby?”

Hubby: “Something to consider.”

Wife: “Are you listening to me?”

Hubby looking up finally from newspaper: “Yeah, yeah, I heard you.” Turns back to newspaper.

Wife: “The therapist said today that we should be more open to talk more with each other. Come on answer me, talk to me, look at me!”

Hubby sighing and putting down darn newspaper: “Alright, what do you want to talk about?”


Wife: SILENCE

Hubby: SILENCE

*One full minute later*

Wife: SILENCE

Hubby: SILENCE

Wife picking up magazine and grumbling to self: “You never listen to me.”

Hubby: SILENCE

This ladies and gentlemen is what marriage counseling does to a couple after only three sessions. We’re still a work in progress.

14 comments:

Chris said...

HI Bibi!

I'm rather impressed that you can remember the entire conversation! :) At age 44, I don't think I could have done that. I've lost too much memory to keeping track of sundries. :)

I hope he decides to have a REAL conversation soon!

MY husband has been sleeping on the couch for the past 1 1/2 hours. It's 8:30 PM. I get what you are talking about.

carma said...

you need to demand a refund :-) kidding!
carma

*Akilah Sakai* said...

Nice rundown, I felt like I was sitting there. Yes! A work in progress. It'll come, BIBI.

Brenda Susan said...

Ha! Sounds like us sometimes. We talk about work all the time cause we work together. But sometimes we decide that we will not talk about work or kids & then.....well, it gets real quiet! Ha!

Kylie said...

Don't give up! Just try to make him work harder! I know, I know, sounds easy enough, right? I'm sure it will be LOTS of work, but worth it in the end! :)

deutlich said...

I giggled a little at that

Ashley said...

lol you gave me a good chuckle, though. ;-)

BIBI said...

Chris- Yeah, my recall of events have been so so lately,but conversations between the hubby and I are pretty much the same, so not to hard to remember! LOL I so totally get the sleep on the couch for hours on end. I'll top that one, how about sleep across your SIDE of the bed and won't move or conversate. Gotta love them though! :D

BIBI said...

Carma- Hahaha! I kind of think she is deserving of every penny! That is the longest conversation we've had in about a week. Without the therapist present. :^)

BIBI said...

Akilah- Yeah, I think we'll keep working at it. It's too late for a refund. HAHA!

BIBI said...

Brenda- You know, it's a very typical conversation of the American household today. Do you think that's why we have the highest divorce rate in America?

BIBI said...

Kylie- Thanks. I sorta think that he IS a keeper. I mean, how many men do actually go to counseling, open up in front of their wives, and agree to fix what is broken? I hope it will be worth it in the end!

BIBI said...

Deutlich- I'm glad that I got a laugh out of ya! Have a good one. :^)

BIBI said...

Ashley- Thank you! I'm glad I was able to put a smile on your face. Nothing like the real world to cheer you up!